Jonas' Club called "The Zone"

I go out only three or four times a month. A guy has to pace himself in this town or wear down to a frazzle.

For some time now I’ve been meaning to stop in at a friend’s club called The Zone on Field’s Avenue here in Angeles City. His name is Jonas, from Sweden, and his place is on the north side of Field’s about 50 meters from where it runs into Macarthur Boulevard.

Jonas is an interesting fellow. Very tall, around 6’4 or 6’5’, he’s in extremely youthful physical shape. He and I are about the same age; I think I might be older by a month or two, but I would have loved to have been in the shape he is now when I was 25. Back then, in MY questionable prime, I had the physique of an athlete, at least of a slender one. Unfortunately for me, big masculine muscles were not part of the package and they certainly aren't now!

But as for Jonas, the man is a horse. I see him in the gym all the time and the man lifts some huge weights. His physique reflects that strength; he certainly puts me to shame. I’m 49, but I like to say that I have the body type of a 35-year-old—woman that is, after she’s had 4 or 5 kids. Yup, that’s me! On second thought, maybe I’m not QUITE that bad, …YET.

Jonas dabbles in a lot of different dealings. Occasionally, he does commentary for TV broadcasts out of Manila covering 9-ball billiards tournaments. Pool playing is big in the Philippines, and it’s really big here with so many of the local bars equipped with pool tables. Even I play at times, although not well. Jonas definitely plays well; he was once a 9-ball champ in Europe. He certainly sounds like he knows what he’s talking about when he describes the table play on the tube—very impressive. Too bad, but his club is too small for a table. I’d love to see him show his stuff.

When I first met him more than 4 years ago I thought he was Russian. Before I found out he was Swedish he mentioned that he’d just spent several years in Russia as a fitness instructor. Watching him go about his workouts I could believe that, especially with his willingness to pass out free “pointers” on the correct way to use the gym equipment. His many other skills include several martial arts styles including boxing, karate and Muay Thai kick boxing. I don’t think he much practices anymore, but he certainly looks like he could.

Compared to most of the clubs in town Jonas’ club is rather small. What it DOES have is class. It’s very clean, even the restroom has a décor—post modern!

His sound system is superior, and happily for me, they NEVER play any form of modern urban music, also known as ghetto rap. My policy is that if any club plays more than two of those in a row then I’m out of there. I hate that crap. They play mostly European style dance music or similar stuff from the 80s. Ahhh! My kind of music. There is a small dance floor just inside the door, so if you feel like dancing a little there’s always at least a half-dozen cuties to groove with—dance with one, or all of them!

All of the clubs in these parts have girls and The Zone is no exception. Jonas has a beautiful bevy working for him. He complained to me that he’s requiring his new hostesses to sign a 6-month contract to ensure they stick around. It seems that many of his most gorgeous ladies have taken off with the customers. Secretly, I thought that was kind of cool. For me (and the girls!) it’s a success story, but for Jonas it’s just a pain in the ass.

The last time I was in there he was a bit preoccupied with business matters, but if you get the chance, he’s an interesting fellow to talk to. He’s been to a lot of places, done a lot of things, and knows a lot of stuff. Two weeks ago we started talking about subjects Scandinavian, since he is one of course. I proudly showed him the messed up palms of my hands declaring in jest, “I must have some Scandinavian blood since I have the “Viking Disease.” He’d never heard of my particular malady, but it resulted in an interesting dissertation from him on the history of the Vikings, a subject obviously near and dear to his heart. The guy knows his history, a man after MY own heart.

The front of his establishment is set up like an outdoor café—perfect for drinking a brewed cup of his unique house blend of coffee—Swedish, of course. It IS smooth, the first time I tasted it I had three cups. It’s hard to find good brewed java in these parts.

Finding a place that makes a good brewed cup of coffee around here is difficult. Most often its burned or bitter. The Zone’s coffee is better than good and it’s definitely not bitter. Talking about it, now I’m looking forward to my next visit.

Historical "Explosion" in the Gym

Sometimes I get a little too smug and reactionary for my own good. Today, in the gym, my friend, Saul, and I were giving each other a good-natured ribbing, as usual. I challenged him to go two days without using the F word, at least while he’s around me. About then one of his drinking buddies from Canada came in. Turns out, his name is Rob from Ottawa.

Shaking hands, I told him about my own connections to Canada. My mom was born in Toronto and we still have cousins there. On my dad’s side, we have family that was forced off their Toronto farmstead by the Brits (Tories) after they hung my triple great grandfather, Samuel Lount, in 1838 for treason.

Rob kicked in, almost with a snarl, that he had family killed also, only by Americans way back when. Now that sounded interesting to me so I pressed him a little for details. He said it was during the border skirmishes of the War of 1812.

“Interesting,” I told him, “my family name changed a little because of that war. Originally, our last name, which is Scottish in origin, was spelled with an “i,” but after we beat the British, in a swell of patriotism one of my ancestors changed the “i” to an “a” after “America.””

Rob could have cared less. “You didn’t win that war, we did—the British.”

Oh my! Fighting words! I practically exploded on him. Before I knew it, I was only a foot away from him, full of challenge and ready to debate.

“How can you possibly say the United States lost the War of 1812? We fought the Brits to a standstill,” I let him know vociferously.

To his credit, Rob didn’t back down and came back at me. “Well, we invaded (notice the “we?”) your soil and burned down your capital. Of course we won the war.”

I was having none of that… “Sure, they burned down the White House, but we ended up defeating that same British force as they marched on Baltimore. Hell, we killed their commander!

(“The Star Spangled Banner,” penned by Francis Scott Key, was written on a British ship during an attempt by those same “dastardly” English to force the capitulation of Baltimore by bombardment from the sea, which also failed, just like the British attempt to attack over land.)

I couldn’t help myself; I ranted on: “You know Rob, the English forced that war on us. They were upset that their sailors were deserting in huge numbers during their war with France whenever their ships made port in the U.S.. To teach us a lesson, they forced hundreds, maybe thousands of American sailors into “service” onto their navy and mercantile ships. It was a case of the Americans standing up to British bullying. They were basically enslaving our people on their ships. Damn, it was piracy man!”

Saul was getting a little uneasy with my tirade and tried to get me to ease up a little, but I wasn’t ready to calm down. I continued…

“Rob, ever hear of the Battle of New Orleans? Now THOSE particular British troops had just come across the Atlantic after beating the pants off of Napoleon. So, naturally, they were feeling their oats and THAT was their mistake—they underestimated us! Andrew Jackson smashed those overconfident Redbellies and threw them all back into the Gulf of Mexico.”

Saul was still trying to calm me down a little, “Phil, Phil…”

I kept at it, “To say the British won the War of 1812 is to re-write history man! WE won that war dude. Google it Rob.”

Rob, ever calm but looking a little hard-pressed, answered me in a placative manner, “Well, no one ever really wins in any war…”

I snorted, “Yah, Yah, right! If you say so…”

I started feeling a little foolish and began to think maybe I need to increase my meds by a dose or two. Later on, I approached him in a calmer manner and we talked of “normal” things. Still, I think he’s a bit leery of me now. I need to watch that.

Nevertheless, I was curious about his claim that the Brits won the War of 1812. Rob is a schoolteacher, he’s not an uneducated fellow, and so I did a little more research on what I thought was a very weird assertion. I mean, MAYBE I AM wrong... Sure enough, I found that Canadian history books actually claim that the Canadians and British defeated the Americans in that war! Ah Hah!

The reason they teach this quirky (or maybe not so quirky) account of the past is that at the beginning of the war the inexperienced and unprofessional American militia, mostly recruited from the unenthusiastic Northeast--lacking decent leadership and armed with poor weapons while dependent on even poorer logistics--were indeed forced into retreat. So, the fact that the half-hearted American attempt to invade Canadian territory WAS beaten back is THE reason Canadians teach and believe what they do concerning the result of the War of 1812.

Not yet knowing any of the above, but wanting to offer an olive branch, I endeavored to engage Rob in some less hostile conversation. I asked him if he’d ever heard of the Canadian Rebellion of 1837 in Toronto. He never had, and so has never heard of my triple great grandfather Samuel Lount, a good man who was found guilty of treason and hung by the Brits in 1838.

His last words on the gallows were, “"Be of good courage boys, I am not ashamed of anything I've done, I trust in God, and I'm going to die like a man."

Hmmm. Well, obviously Rob is an Anglophile, so I suppose it makes sense that he wouldn’t want to concentrate too much on some of the more distasteful aspects of past English rule in Canada, or that of their loyalist partners.

Funny what can come of a seemingly innocent meeting between two North Americans in a neutral location, such as a gym in Angeles City.

(Incidentally, in a way, Rob was right. By all accounts, the Treaty of Ghent basically reestablished status quo borders from before the beginning of the war, and The Brits agreed to stop fomenting and supporting the Indians against American settlers moving west. Their war with France was over and so they had already stopped kidnapping our sailors.

Even more interesting for me though, is that the War of 1812 caused a surge of nationalism in both Canada and the United States. No wonder Canadians teach their children that they won that war. In an important way, THEY did. If things had gone differently, there is a good chance that Canadians would be speaking American today! (grin)

But seriously, at the time, most Americans (like my name-changing forebears) felt a great sense of pride in having bested so often during that war the world’s most powerful armed force, and for the SECOND time, by TWO different generations!)

Why Angeles City?

We who write, pride ourselves on being detailed observers. Keeping in mind all the Internet surfers and Googlers out there, I like to keep an eye on my site-meter, because it tells me what people are trying to find out about. For instance, my most read post by far is my "Rizal vs. Bonifacio" commentary, especially during school season when the plagiarizers come out of the woodwork; I've had literally thousands of hits on that one. But not too far down the "searcher list" I see that a whole lot of folks are looking for info on AC living, and not just on how much apartments go for!

I've been here for more than 5 years now, so I feel somewhat qualified to offer a few observations--strictly as an on-looker of course--on "the darker side" of life here in "Sin City," Pampanga. I'm being a little facetious when I refer to this town as "Sin City," but being completely honest, THAT is exactly what it is. Virtually all of the hundreds of tourists who come here do so for the girls. Most come strictly for the sex, but many also fall in love with one of those comely lasses in spite of themselves. As you can imagine, the stories are legion.

As for the young ladies that come here, they arrive in their daily droves from all over the Philippines, and they come for exactly two things: 1) to earn money, and 2) to meet foreigners for a possible longterm relationship. Oh, and there's a third category: girls who come here to make money AND to meet their future husband.

So, why here? When it comes to the women what is so special about this place you might ask. Well, if you have ever been to the Philippines you wouldn't HAVE to ask. The women here are indeed special. Strictly on a looks basis, eight out of ten Filipinas, if not outright beautiful, are at the very least quite physically attractive, especially to Western eyes.

Then again, looks are not everything; and that brings us to THE most important aspect of the ladies here--their legendary sweetness. This is not a myth. It's interesting that even the most gorgeous girl here thinks she is just average, and THAT seems to be their most appealing quality. It seems that the only stuck up Filipinas in existence come from the very rich families, those that have been Westernized. You probably won't be subjected to one of those snobs anyway, although I have met a few snobbish ones outside of their home country AFTER they had lost that special unpretentious "Filipina quality."

Some of the AC girls working in one of the many bars might SEEM snobby, but in reality they are just extremely shy. This is certainly true for many of the girls that first arrive in Angeles City from one of the many Philippines provinces. Perhaps they are unsure of their English, or they haven't gotten used to being around partying foreigners, many of whom can be very forward and boisterous. This country is an extremely conservative place, so the newly arrived young ladies have to get their sea legs under them first. Once they learn how to interact though, watch out!

Having said all that, the luckiest people on earth are the men of the Philippines. Funny thing is, few of them realize it UNTIL they leave here and learn that the rest of the world's women are not nearly so sweet and loving as those they took for granted back home. Without exception, all my single stateside Filipino pals could not wait to come back here to get themselves their life mate.

You would think the girls here would play even a little hard-to-get, but it almost never happens that way. It's just not their nature, at least not until they leave the country and learn how truly desirable they are. (There's a lesson to be learned from that fellas!)

Getting back to the Angeles City angle, believe it or not, even an old ugly over-weight foreigner can come here to live and find himself a beautiful teenage beauty to be his "live in," or if he so wants, to be his loving bride. These are not idle words. I can think of several 50 and 60 year olds who have settled down with their very own little local lovely lady. Most have two or more children to show for their relationship "arrangement."

Just to make my point I'll give you THE most extreme example I can think of. Let's see, one of my buddies, I'll call him Ed, will be 79 next month. He proudly has an 18 year old girlfriend live-in who takes care of him and chases after him as if he was some 25 year old lady killer. Yes, my friends, she is jealous and worried that he might be two-timing her. Is she for real? Is she just after his money? Who knows anymore? And Ed really doesn't care. The point is Ed is loving life and he has got to be the youngest acting old man his age I've ever met. In the States he'd be looked at as a joke, as a ridiculous caricature, but not so here. Over here he's just a typical retiree.

I'll write more in future posts on this subject. I've met and "interviewed" scores of fellow foreigners and the girls they come here to meet, party with, and or settle down with, and there is a story behind each.

Idol Thoughts: Three Left

Update: Melinda is singing her goodbyes as I start writing this. Simon let the cat out of the bag for me half way through the show. What a pouty boy he is! His girl, Melinda, didn't make it to the final and he was NOT happy about that. As for me, I am happy to be wrong. I enjoy watching Blake, I loved how close he is with his parents, especially with his pops. Melinda will go on with her career and I'm sure it will be brilliant. If Elliott Yamin's 3rd place finish last year is any indication of what she can expect, then she can expect a lot. This sounds sappy, but seeing this year's American Idol has really made me proud of my country. The contestants have comported themselves well and I've not haven't "hated" anyone except Simon, and that's okay, THAT is his job! I'm looking forward to next week's final with Jordin and Blake. I hope Blake wins it all, but seeing how loose he is, I think he feels like he's already won. I really like this kid. He isn't the pure singer that Jordin is, BUT he IS a pure entertainer. Go Blake!

The three idols left duked it out tonight on semi-final week. Each sang three songs. A song for each was chosen by one of the judges, then by the producers, and the final song was picked by the singers.

We are getting down to the nitty-gritty and the contestants know it. I'm noticing now though that these three are now realizing that it really doesn't matter anymore who actually wins next week. History has shown that in effect they HAVE made it. All three will go on to become well-paid stars.

Round 1.

1. Jordin kicked it off with "Wishing On a Star" chosen by Simon. The 17-year-old said she'd never heard it before. 49-year-old me was thinking, 'How could that be!" Oh well. Anyway, she sang it beautifully. The girl is learning because she never pushed a single note tonight, a problem she's had in the past. I loved it. Simon was the only naysayer claiming that she should have sung it with a less jazzy arrangement. He was full of it. Obviously, he's pushing for Melinda.

1. Blake sung Paula's choice of "Roxanne" and he did it with flair as always. Blake has a lower range than Sting, but actually I prefer Blake's rendition. Sorry Sting. He did have a couple moments where I noticed he went flat, but ever the perfect performer, he recovered well. The song fit his voice and style well. Mr. Anti-Blake, Simon, made the ridiculous comment that he thought Blake didn't sing the song as well as Sting. What a jerk.

1. Melinda's first song was chosen by Randy and was "I Believe..." done originally by Whitney Houston. It really was an unfair choice since Whitney has a much higher range than Melinda, and her attempt to sing it showed that clearly. With her professional background she managed to pull it off though. All three judges loved it, finding nothing wrong with it at all. It is so obvious that the judges are all pulling for her.

Simon, when asked who was ahead at the end of round 1 naturally said Melinda. Give me a break!

Round 2.

2. Jordin: Her second was "She Works Hard For the Money." I had to laugh as she tried to move around on those platform shoes. She's already about 6 foot tall and those shoes must have been making her nose bleed. Next time she wears them she should just stand and sing and not try to prance around--just a suggestion. Just as song number one, she sang this one perfectly.

2. Blake: The producers chose a fairly contemporary one for him called "This Love" by Maroon 5. I've always liked the song and Blake did it justice. He seemed a little late a few times with the lyrics, still it sounded great. Once again, Simon accused him of a copy-cat performance. He is really intent on getting Melinda to the top position. I'm beginning to find that tiresome.

2. Melinda: "Nut Bush City Limits," a free-wheeling song by Ike and Tina Turner was not the perfect choice for her. Tina used to do this song with a shimmy wearing a short sexy mini-skirt and Melinda is NOT all about that. She did a great job with that powerful voice, as usual, but I just wasn't entertained. Surprise! The judges loved it! At this point Melinda can do no wrong by these three. They are shamelessly pushing their girl, especially Simon.

Not wanting to be TOO obvious, Simon claimed that the winner of round 2 was a tie. For me, Jordin slightly edged out Blake.

Round 3.

3. Jordin, "the young & the beautiful," chose a Ben E King 60's song called "I Who Have Nothing," which I believe she has already sung once before. Maybe I'm wrong. At first, I wondered why she would choose such an oldy, but I figured it out as she went into the finish. Wow! She really showcased her abilities and ended up impressing me. Predictably, Simon said the song was too old fashioned for her. Once again, he undercut a great performance attempting to influence the voting for Melinda.

3. Blake's final one was "When I Get You Alone." It sounded a little like his previous song, but I have to say that the boy has pizazz. He IS an entertainer, a pure showman. He gets my vote on that alone. Surprisingly, Simon gave Blake his due praising his risk-taking and for his fun-loving stage presence. Randy gave Blake a negative vibe while "saying" he liked the performance. Clearly, Randy does not "feel" Blake as much as he does his favorite, Melinda.

3. Melinda did a hokey version of "I Am a Woman," and it was just okay, definitely not thrilling. Once again, naturally all 3 judges LOVED it! Simon raved over her consistency, and its true. The girl never gives a bad performance.

If Randy, Paula and Simon could, they would have already inaugurated Melinda as the 2007 American Idol. I've changed my mind about her being my favorite now because after tonight I now can see that although she is good, she is NOT the best performer. That crown has to go to Blake, closely followed by Jordin. If I had my way, Blake and Jordin would be in the finals next week. Alas, that will not happen. What WILL happen is that Blake will be voted out tomorrow, partly due to the judges continuous sniping at him, but mostly because most of Lakisha's fans will vote for either Melinda or Jordin. If I was going to pay to go see one of them in concert it would be Blake, hands down. Anyway, I'm sure we'll see Jordin and Melinda next week with Blake watching like all the rest of us.

PhilippinePhil’s order of merit for tonight:

1. Jordin
2. Blake
3. Melinda

Tomorrow's Fallen Idol will probably be:

Blake

The American Idol will be:

Melinda

“Sanctuary” for illegals? "Open Borders?"

Recently I watched a cable news show interview with a Catholic nun involved with “sheltering” some Mexican or Latin American illegal aliens in her church. The crux of her argument in defense of her own unlawful actions is the New Testament passage where Jesus says, “When I was hungry you fed me…, when I was thirsty you gave me drink…, when I was homeless you sheltered me…”

It seems that Catholic churches across the country are now buying into what I think is a defective moral argument that “the church” should be providing “sanctuary” for illegal immigrants. Even though she is helping people break the law, the unapologetic nun said her actions and that of her church are all about being humane. I couldn’t agree with her less.

I’m not heartless. I’m all for helping people in need, but I’m also for upholding the law, especially our more-than-reasonable immigration laws. After all, these aren’t unjust laws worthy of civil disobedience like slavery or “Jim Crow.” To a reasonable person it makes sense that all countries have a natural right to control their borders and their immigration flow. Doing anything else amounts to anarchy and the eventual end of our civilization, as we know it. I’d love to ask that silly nun if that’s what she really wants.

And then there is the “family card!” People who break ANY of our laws do so at their own risk, AND in doing so, THEY put their families’ well-being at risk as well. The rationale that illegal immigrant families should not be made to suffer once they are in-country is deeply flawed. If we go by that reasoning then we would never “inconvenience” any perpetrator of any crime with imprisonment, since nearly everyone, even common criminals, have families. Therefore, using the “family card” as an excuse not to prosecute illegals establishes an unworkable precedent that if followed, protects ALL criminals.

Unfortunately, the US Constitution helps to facilitate this “family card” argument, particularly when we do not pursue illegals for years and then over those years they have children. Our statutes are somewhat unique in the world in that anyone born on US soil is considered a US citizen. It’s a loophole used by many to justify their own continued unlawful presence. They point to their American-born children and use those little jus soli citizens to justify their unauthorized stay. It sounds callous, but that’s not our problem. Once again, THEY made a decision that harms THEIR family.

Few countries besides the USA concern themselves with these types of factors when making immigration decisions. For instance, try having a child in a country like Japan (and a host of others) and see what happens. Both you AND your non-Japanese citizen baby will be “shown the door,” and rightly so.

Living outside the United States, I am well aware that if officials stop me for any reason that I must identify myself as a foreigner and provide documentation of my status. I find it maddening that the United States is the ONLY place where it is common policy in many of its cities and counties NOT to request proof of lawful residency of a person detained by police. Are we nuts?

I pass by the American Embassy frequently, and the lines of hopefuls applying for US entry are ALWAYS there, rain or shine. For the most part, these people’s applications are denied, usually on the capricious whim of some bureaucrat. Just the same, the lines never stop forming. This is true at American embassies and consulates all over the globe, and yet, because we have a long, difficult-to-protect border, people south of it figure they can just jump in line ahead of all the thousands of worldwide applicants duly waiting their turn. I find this maddeningly unjust, Geraldo Rivera be damned.

Fox News’ Rivera continuously makes the passionate contention that most of the millions of illegal immigrants are good people and thus should be allowed to stay. In effect, his argument is basically one of statue of limitations; to all intents and purposes he says they should be allowed to “get away” with their law breaking by simply waiting out the system. The problem with this is that the world is filled with “good people,” so why don’t we just let them ALL come? Should there be no limits Geraldo—no controls over whom and how many are allowed to enter?

The nun responded to a final question, and her astonishing answer made me feel like becoming a Baptist.

“Sister, do you believe the United States would be right in protecting its borders from further illegal entries?”

Without a moment’s hesitation she answered with complete self-assured sanctimony:

“NO!”

When I heard what seemed to me to be a most unreasonable response, my blood ran cold with indignation and dread. The indignation is easy to explain (at least to sane people!), but the dread comes of the nun’s casually spoken irrational answer. Her views may well reflect those of a sizable demographic that basically advocates “open borders.” As far as I know, no other nation of note has such a thing in place—how could they and continue to exist?

And THAT is exactly my point!

Do any Baptists or Presbyterians believe in that kind of harebrained pap? If not, where do I sign up! (Just kidding Mom).