Fields Avenue, now and then

A buddy and I did some barhopping last night. We decided to truly hop, to have only one drink per establishment before hopping on to the next. We started at 6 pm. Before I knew it, midnight was nigh, and my scooter a pumpkin. It was a lot of fun, so naturally, time flew.

My first time barhopping in Angeles City was January 4, 1983, more than 24 years ago. A lot has changed since then—some good, some bad, some neither good nor bad.

With my 50th fast approaching, I often find myself thinking back to the past. I suppose it might be a sign of looming old age. It sucks knowing that there is much more behind than in front of me. Still, it is something to do, to make the comparisons between now and then.

One thing hasn’t changed here—the girls. They still trickle in from all over the islands. They come at the prospect of making some money and meeting a foreigner for possible husband material. It isn’t a myth; it happens all the time. Most of the guys I know are married to one of these young fillies.

Twenty-four years ago the girls were certainly here, only then, there were multitudes more of them—there were thousands, perhaps ten thousand. Clark Air Base was still an active U.S. base with its own thousands of airmen to add to the mix. When all those beautiful and willing Filipinas met up with all those young American military men, well, things got crazy. Truthfully, I’m glad those days are gone, and I’m glad the base is no longer a U.S. one. It made all Americans political targets and towards the end of the large scale American presence here the NPA assassinated several of us. To hell with that!

There were hundreds of clubs back then; now, by comparison, there is only a handful. In the old days the bar clientele was mostly young American men (like me), full of vim, vitality and vinegar. Naturally, the girls were kept quite busy. I remember several times being released from my nightshift work on the flightline and heading downtown with some squadron mates. Even before midnight I often noticed that the bars were almost empty of most of the girls who were already otherwise “entertained.” Considering how many ladies there were back then I thought it quite amazing that so many could already be out and doing their “thing.”

What was nice about the Air Force base being here is that it was Air Force. I rarely saw violence or strife between the partying troops like I used to see during my time around fellow marines and sailors. Go to Okinawa today and very carefully observe the young marines while they are out on the town. I say carefully because you might just find yourself getting your ass kicked. Chances are, however, they are too busy kicking each other’s. Man, I could tell you some stories!
Now, you’ll rarely see young men’s faces in the bars of Angeles, almost never in fact. I recall back in the day seeing customers in their 40s, 50s, and 60s and thinking it remarkable to see “old” guys like that. Now, around here, men in their 40s are considered the younger ones. Occasionally these days, when a tourist shows up in a bar in his 20s he looks like an intruder to the old denizens who live here permanently. How dare that whippersnapper come in here and show off his youth? Feels like he’s rubbing our faces in our own old age. The bastard!

I was sitting in a bar once when one of these young foreigner studs walked in. He was a strapping, good-looking blonde lad and yet he was not stirring up any attention from the ladies. I had bought a young hostess a drink and asked her why the girls were ignoring him. She sniffed that he had been in before, was a cheapskate, and wasn’t very nice. Then it hit me. Many of these girls had made that mistake once already in their young lives, to let themselves be hoodwinked by a pretty-boy ladies man, or babaero, as they call them here. A babaero, pronounced ba-ba-ero, is a man who goes after “mga babae,” or “the ladies.”

One of my interests is talking to the bar girls and hostesses, to find out why they come here from all over the Philippines. It seems that more than half have a young child or baby. Many tell a similar tale: Some local lothario back in the province talked her into giving up her virginity. After a while, once tired of her or if a baby is on the way, the guy disappears. Or, many of them tell the story of a husband that takes off with some other cutie after getting her or perhaps both girls pregnant.

Women here, especially poor ones, have virtually no protection under the law. There is no divorce, and for the most part, deadbeat dads are left undisturbed. With no divorce, and with annulments difficult and expensive, many men just start up new families after simply abandoning the last one. Not many people anywhere are want to do the right thing without being forced to, and its true here as well. So there you have it. Few men who do wrong by their families in the first place EVER do right by them, since the legal system does not pursue them or make them comply with their familial responsibilities. It's a very unfortunate situation, especially for women.

I’ve seen foreigners trying to marry their Filipina fiancee pay huge sums to bribe a so-called “missing husband” so that he will agree to the next step, an annulment, because the husband must agree to it first, no matter how pathetic a husband he might be. All that, so that the love-struck foreigner can then pay further large sums for the actual legal end of the marriage in court, the annulment.

Aside from the legal difficulties, a “deflowered” Filipina, and certainly one with a child, has few options. Even if she’s otherwise single, few Filipinos will want her for marriage, probably not one that could support her well.

Then, these forlorn ladies find out about Angeles City. They learn that it’s where foreigners come to meet Filipinas to have a “good time,” and that many come as well to meet girls for potential relationships. Unlike many traditional-minded Filipinos, most Americans, Europeans, and Australians don’t care if the girl is not a virgin; and if they fall in love, even a child or two is not a problem. It’s almost the perfect solution for both sets of the “hopeless.” It’s a place where hopeless old 1st world men can come and find an attractive loving 3rd world wife, who would also be otherwise JUST as hopeless.

Just today, I spoke with a fellow retiree, a 60 year-old marine with 7 failed marriages under his belt. Four years ago in search of the perfect gal, he met his 8th and probably his last wife. She’s 26 now and seeing them together, they seem like the ideal couple. He’s taught her everything he knows about martial arts and now they travel Asia together as she competes for trophies. He proudly told me that last week she bungee-jumped from the 54th story of a hotel in Thailand. If you know Filipinas, you’ll know that seems VERY unlikely!

Speaking of unlikely, how can a 26-year-old hard-bodied beauty and a 60-year-old bespectacled bald-headed man be the perfect pair? Well, I’ve seen it for myself, and it can probably happen ONLY right here in the Philippines. However, my advice to him and to anyone with a young beautiful wife from here is to never take her back to the States. Funny how quickly "true love" can quickly “turn off” as the young lady’s head is “turned around” once these old fellows take their youthful brides back home. The solution: stay here and have no fear!

Getting back to my recollections, last night I visited 6 or 7 bars. I usually like to buy one of the girls a drink or two, but anymore, more often than not, I don’t. And that brings me to another drastic difference between "now and then"—the girls’ attitudes and demeanors. Then, the girls working in the clubs were extremely aggressive, not so now. In the old days I couldn’t sit for more than a few seconds before a lovely lass would approach and say hello. Last night, I noticed that most of the ladies avoided looking at any of the customers, par for the course for most of the places these days. My policy is not to buy a ladies drink UNLESS she has at least looked at me once and smiled--EVEN if she has to FORCE herself to do it!

Although last night, in the very first bar I went into with my friend, Don, I made an exception to my rule of “a drink ONLY AFTER a look and a smile.” We sat together with the manager, Rod, drinking and talking about “veterans things,” since all three of us are military retirees. I sipped my mango juice and watched the bikini-clad dancers. None were really dancing, most were talking, standing and fidgeting up on the platform. All except one, and I was really pleased to see that she was dancing VERY well, enthusiastically even.

I interrupted, “Hey Rod, see that girl? The one actually dancing with the white ribbon in her hair? I want to buy her a drink. She deserves one for dancing like that. I don’t care if she sits over here or not; you don’t have to call her over.”

Obviously ignoring the part where I said she did not have to come over, he snapped his fingers at a waitress, and told her to tell the dancer to come over. The deed was done, and soon, very unladylike, the fetchingly dancing teenager hopped over the railing and made her way over to us.

I raised my glass to her, and nodding, greeted her with, “Mahusay kung sumayaw.” (I like your dancing.)

She smiled at my Tagalog, thrilled that I know some, so few of us do after all. I asked her why she was the only one dancing so actively, and that I wanted to reward her for her fine efforts with a drink. She thanked me and explained that she was cold from the air con and was just trying to warm up.

“Ah, I see. Well, if that’s the case, I wish the other girls would warm up like you do. Your dancing is very nice, almost as good as the girls used to dance when I first came here 25 years ago.”

Just 19, she had no idea what I was talking about. Many of the dancers these days, when they even bother to try, do what I call “The Balibago Shuffle.” Usually, with their arms folded across their chest or with hands clasped shyly in front of their bikini bottom, they stand in one place, and merely shift forward and back from one foot to the other, sometimes not even to the music. Oh, and Balibago is the Angeles City barrio where most of the bars are, thus the name of the boring pseudo-dance. It really is quite dreary to watch them do it, so I don’t; and the girls look even more disinterested doing it.

Ah, for the good old days when they really danced around here! It’s funny to think about now, but all those beautiful young women who danced so alluringly for us back then are all now in their 40s and 50s, all probably grandmothers. I wonder where they went?

I know many got married to GIs and went to the U.S., but I still think of them as they were then, not as grandmothers, but as the girls I see dancing today. I like to pretend that they are the same girls, as if they never got old and stayed forever fit and lovely.

If only it were so.

Paris, back in the Hilton...

What a world we live in.

It looks like more than half of the news today on the stateside channels is going to be about Paris Hilton's premature release from jail. This, while what SHOULD be the far more important news of the Immigration Bill's languishing death in the Senate ALSO takes place. Kind of makes me feel sorry for the poor Immigration Bill--to be upstaged by something and someone so trivial. Yet, that's the world we live in.

I wonder how the troops feel in the war zones as they watch on CNN and FNC, and see for themselves what most Americans truly find important back "in the world?" Skewed priorities? No wonder so many people in the military feel so much contempt for their civilian citizen counterparts. I wonder if civilians know how many troops feel this disdain? Believe me, they do! Even now, 5 years after my discharge, I don't like to think of myself as a civilian. I watch how flittingly weakwilled our average citizens are and it makes me wonder how in the hell we are ever going to keep our enemies at bay when the average citizen's attention span is no better than a puppy's in a field, flitting from one fanciful subject to another?

Looking at the latest Paris Hilton development, it does remind me of at least one good thing about the US--our semi-egalitarianism. I love how we go after our rich, powerful and famous. I love how how we put them up on pedestals and then wait anxiously and expectantly for them to fall off, so that we can then slap 'em in irons and throw 'em in jail. It certainly doesn't happen that way in oligarchies such as the Philippines and Mexico, where money and power means never having to say you're sorry.

You'd never see a senator war hero like Duke Cunningham go to prison for what amounts to the rest of his life in most of the world, unless a coups took place first to make it happen. You'd never see a high ranking aide of a sitting president, like Scooter Libby, go to prison for what amounts to fibbing to a judge. You would never even see a national sports hero, like an O.J. Simpson, go through even the semblance of a trial for murder, although he DID get away with it! Nope, in most places in the world, a movie star like Mel Gibson would have been quietly escorted home instead of being arrested for driving drunk.

The way I see it, so what if Hilton only served less than 3 days of 45, then of 23 for what she did. If she had been a Filipina or even a European celebrity she NEVER would have gotten in trouble in the first place. The very fact that we are so much in arms over it at least shows that we are TRYING to make sure no one is above the law. I like that...

Now, Gretta Van Sestran, Geraldo, Anderson Cooper, et. al., can we now get on with the REALLY and TRULY important news? Please!

Out of Iraq and NOW?

I’ve figured it out. It came to me while I watched Al Gore on a TV sound bite the other night.

Thinking about our occupation of Iraq, as I do a lot, I tried to reckon why the left is in such a hurry for us to leave.

They make several disparate arguments for our immediate evacuation. In the order they occur to me I list them below:

1. American casualties

2. Iraqi casualties

3. Our presence foments Islamic hatred.

4. Bush lied; people died.

5. We can’t win, so why try?

6. We have no business being in the middle of a civil war.

7. Al Qaeda attacked us, not Iraq.

Now, allow me to examine the apparent logic behind each rationale, only from the so-called far left’s point of view as seen through MY prism:

1. American Casualties. From what I can see, the leadership of the far left cares very little about “the troops.” Mind you, I’m talking about their leadership and not necessarily their minions. I’m positive that the president feels more sorrow for the fallen than almost anyone from both the left and the right. The personal responsibility he feels for our casualties is crushing, but that comes with the territory. Those of us who volunteered to go in harm’s way understand this implicitly.

The left learned from mistakes made during the Vietnam War how counterproductive it is to blame openly our people for their war service, even though I’m sure the “Move On Dot Org” folks secretly consider our warriors to be little more than storm troopers and baby killers. At best, they look at our service personnel, all of them volunteers by the way, as misguided morons worthy only of contempt.

Rosie O’Donnell, a liberal mouthpiece, recently explained away our troops’ continued willingness and determination to fight on in Iraq by declaring that they are the uneducated desperate poor with few options.

George Soros (Rosie’s de facto boss) and his crew of “lefties” realize that few servicemen and women support the far left’s various visions, and most also don’t appreciate being used as pawns in the left’s arguments to bug out. Soros and his progressives understand this and so could care less what happens to the troops. Progressives know too that most service personnel are not likely to support the left’s schema, so why should they care about them? In fact, the hard core left doesn’t. Read on…

2. Iraqi casualties. If you are even slightly aware of what’s happening in Iraq you’ll know that Americans aren’t killing Iraqis; Iraqis are killing Iraqis. For the most part we are there trying to get them to stop. The far left knows this, and chooses to propagandize anyway that it is OUR presence causing them to kill each other. They claim that if we leave then the killing will stop. That’s another crock.

Or, uninformed folks like O’Donnell actually come out and say that WE are indeed the killers of innocents. Based on the enthusiastic applause she used to get on “The View” for her inane comments, equally uninformed people choose to believe her, mostly because they WANT to believe her, despite the facts.

By the left’s reasoning we are evil to be over there, even as we do our best to train Iraqi soldiers and police to bring order to their country—to stop the bombings and killings. Mind you, this is the same liberal crowd claiming that we SHOULD be in Darfur to stop the Arab-on-African killings going on down there. I ask them, WHY is it more righteous for us to stop the killings in the Sudan and not in Iraq?

As I said, I think I know the answer…

3. Our presence foments Islamic hatred. Here’s another fallacy used by progressives calling for us to immediately egress from Iraq. The fact is that we don’t need to be in Iraq for Islamic radicals to hate us, although I will admit that it makes it easier for them to get access to Americans. Thing is, the really nasty killers will simply come after us no matter where we are—just as they did on 9/11.

It’s ironic that what the Islamists hate the most about us is our liberalism. If anything in the world drives them to want to exterminate us it’s those aspects of our society most embraced by the left—things like free speech, open sexuality, self-indulgence, homosexuality, women’s rights, and secularism.

No, progressives don’t really care how much Muslims hate us, otherwise they would do as the radicals want, which is to end their “evil” ways, and convert to Islam. We all know that isn’t going to happen.

4. Bush lied; people died. Whether WMDs ever existed in Iraq, four years after the invasion THAT is now irrelevant. I won’t even use the argument that virtually EVERYONE was sure they existed (including Edwards and both Clintons); because—I repeat—it doesn’t matter. The point is that we ARE there.

Why would we simply leave the region and let it fall into complete turmoil and chaos just because we didn’t find nerve gas and nukes? I can already hear someone murmur that chaos already exists there—that it can’t get any worse. Well, it certainly CAN get worse, and if we leave precipitously, it WILL.

Aha! We are getting closer to the REAL reason Soros and his followers want the troops out, and IMMEDIATELY. Have patience; I’m almost there…

5. We can’t win, so why try? This kind of defeatist talk does nothing but fortify our enemies. The far far left doesn’t believe that ANYTHING is worth fighting for, appeasement being their watchword.

Honestly, our people running our efforts in Iraq know that we can’t kill every radical or even change many of the hearts-and-minds of the extremists fighting us. What our people DO realize is that we must continue to try to help the new Iraqi government’s efforts to bring their people together as a viable nation. Obviously, no one realized how difficult this was going to be. But that begs the question: Do we ONLY do those things that are easy? By that reasoning, once things get too tough in other places, such as Afghanistan or Korea or even right at home in the USA, do we just say it’s too hard and quit? Of course not!

Like it or not, Iraq is an extraordinarily strategic spot. We CANNOT just quit—we MUST stay until we figure it out. The world as we know it will change in ways extremely awful unless we stay and achieve a workable non-radical Iraq.

The truth is that the ONLY way we CAN’T win is if we quit. But, quitting is what the far left wants us to do, and as I keep saying, I believe I know why….

6. We have no business being in the middle of a civil war. This is another ridiculous argument. If you study history then you know that much of all warring could be classified as “civil.” Bill Clinton, the left’s darling, has admitted that he should have intervened in Rwanda, which was a civil war.

Genocide, which if declared to be happening by the UN must be stopped by “the world,” usually happens by way of civil wars. We intervened in Kosovo, Somalia, and Bosnia because of it. The current Darfur turmoil is in effect a civil war, yet there is a massive hue-and-cry by the left for us to intervene there.

Obviously, the far left is not serious when they use this argument. There MUST be another reason they want us out of Iraq… Stay with me…

7. Al Qaeda attacked us, not Iraq. This is another red herring, much like the “Bush lied…” argument. In truth, Hussein never complied with any of the UN’s demands after he “surrendered” to us in 1991. In truth, the war never ended; he continued to shoot at us and to subjugate and kill his own people. While he did this, most of the rest of the world helped him to regain his military capabilities by illegally paying him billions through the “oil for food” nonsense.

But, just as I stated above under reason 4, at this point, it just doesn’t matter. Al Qaeda in significant numbers IS in Iraq NOW, and they have great plans for it once the naysayers force us to up and leave. The far left knows this and they DON’T care! As I keep saying, I have a pretty good idea why…

And now, the REAL Reason…

By now, you may have deduced that I’m convinced that the extreme left doesn’t actually care about any of the above rationale—it’s all pretext. What occurred to me the other day while listening to “Bitter Al” prattle on about his “inconvenient truth” is that the people running the progressive show under the very liberal Mr. Soros are ONLY truly concerned about ONE subject—global warming. It hit me then that global warming is the only actual reason the far left wants us out of Iraq and NOW.

You ask, what does leaving Iraq have to do with rising temperatures? And how would the eviction of tens of thousands of U.S. troops be looked at as a good thing by those on the left fringe obsessing over global warming?

Well consider this; 40% of the world’s oil passes through the Straits of Hormuz. Obviously, therefore, it’s a critical chokepoint for the world’s petroleum-based economy. I can think of several scenarios that would cause the Gulf region to flare up into something ugly that would close off that chokepoint, especially if we leave Iraq in an unstable state.

Believe it or not, our presence in Iraq at this time is actually keeping things relatively calm in the region. As bad as the violence seems, most of it is centered in Baghdad and in a few other Iraqi-only hot spots. But, if we leave, all bets are off.

At this time there is a tenuous balance between the Saudis, the Iranians, the Syrians, and all the Islamic militant and extremist factions in a very shaky Iraq. Two events will probably send this fragile framework spiraling into bedlam: 1) U.S. troops leave before a viable Iraq is set up, and 2) the Iranians achieve their nuclear weapon ambitions.

If we leave Iraq in its current mess we basically hand it over to Al Qaeda and Iran. I predict that once that happens, within a very short time we will find ourselves having to go back into the region with even more troops with even bigger guns. Only this time, chances are we will probably have to attack Iran. The Iranians will sink a few ships and lay hundreds of mines, which will quickly close Hormuz. At that point, life as we know it ends, and that’s when the extremely far left GETS their wish—unaffordable oil.

The big brains behind these cunningly sly progressives fully understand that the only way we earthlings, especially us car-crazy Americans, will stop driving gas and diesel fueled vehicles is if we are FORCED to. Even though the technology already exists to replace petroleum-powered transport, as long as relatively cheap oil is available it’s never going to be fielded.

So you see, George Soros and his lieutenants want us out of Iraq all right; but NOT for any of the humane or bogus reasons many claim. No, the goal is simple—to get all of us onto mass transit and into cars powered by batteries and fuel cells.

It’s brilliant in a cynical underhanded way.

Part 3: VA Disability Claims Advice

I say again, the VA disability claims system is stacked against the inexperienced veteran UNTIL he gets help. THEN, the advantage goes to the vet. I liken it to a card game where the VA plays its hand, at which point the knowledgeable veteran is allowed to pick up the deck and choose the cards necessary to win the hand... Read on to see what I mean...

• Retirement / Discharge Physical. When you retire or separate from service, I wouldn’t worry about whether or not the Air Force (or army, etc.) actually does your retirement physical, because it doesn’t really matter. As far as your retirement physical goes, unless you are being medically discharged, your service hospital won’t really look for anything wrong with you anyway. The only reason the military services do so-called retirement physicals is to fill a square—it’s mostly cursory. The examining doctor will have you fill out a form that has you describe your current medical issues that you plan to claim for from the VA. It will help to have already gone over your records with a fine-toothed comb and pre-write EVERY item you intend to claim. Have this list with you when you go in for your physical. As I said, I would go to the VA without first getting a full-blown physical done by your service. I waived my retirement physical and it turned out perfect for me. I was able to “manage” my VA physical very nicely this way, but as long as you know what to expect, I would suppose that you could manage your discharge physical in the same way. The point is that YOU want to control what happens to you—don’t let the system push you around. Stay in charge—stay proactive! Do so by reading on.

Find a Veterans Service Officer to represent you. Before you make your claim at a VA Regional Office, contact a well-trained AND experienced Veterans Service Officer. These people do NOT work for the VA—they work for YOU! The VFW, DAV, American Legion, etc., all those organizations provide Service Officers. Keep in mind these folks are not supposed to charge you for their help—most of them get paid from local city, county or state funds to assist Vets.

• Call around, interview a promising Service Officer candidate, and ask about success stories and so forth. If they don’t have time for you, find some one else. Many folks try to do it on their own and they get beat down by the VA system, mostly out of ignorance. Or, they get an award and don’t ever realize how underrated they actually are. You don’t know what you don’t know!
• The VA is not supposed to be adversarial, but it IS! The VA Disability System is complicated, and time-consuming. I know folks who have struggled through it, got what they sought after many years of fighting and learning how to fight, and could have received the same award first time, if they had only used representation from the start.
• A good Service Officer will act exactly like your lawyer—a good lawyer of course (a contradiction in terms?).
• Most veterans are either NOT told of the existence of Service Officers during their Transitional Assistance Program (TAP) briefings, or they are not told how crucial they are for a successful claim. I got out in early 2002, and although we were briefed at the time by what I thought was a very informative VA Representative; HE did NOT mention once that it might be a good idea for a veteran to attain the services of a Service Officer in the veteran’s quest for disability benefits. Is this a conspiracy? It seems so.

• Maximizing your disability rating is all about strategy!
• Get with your Service Officer Representative and map out what you want. Make two copies of every page of your active duty medical records BEFORE you get out. One copy you might have to submit to the VA and you will keep the other copy. (You’d be surprised how often the services or NPRC (National Personnel Records Center) loses SMRs (service medical records) after you last see them at your separation).
• Get a highlighter and mark every medical issue, the date, the inclusive dates of treatment, the clinic and its address, and the doctor or clinician involved. You will need all this info when you make your claim. Then, using the format provided in the VA Form 21-526 (used for initial application of benefits), make a table just like the one shown in the form. The one in the 21-526 is not even a page long and the blocks are too small for the information they ask for. I suggest you do this using a program like MS Word. List each and every medical issue per line.
• Once you get them all loaded, group them together by issue still in chronological order. Do not worry about listing too much. When I filled out my form, I turned in 12 pages of disabilities, and I used a font of only 10! Overwhelm them with your preparation! Most veterans do very little to prepare, so the VA workers that receive yours will be very impressed and in fact appreciative. In reality, they want to do what’s right for the veteran; so, why not make it easy for them to do exactly that?

• Get Every Test You Can!!! This bullet is very important, so read this one and its sub-bullets carefully.

· What you want to do is to have every possible assessment, lab test, and procedure done to you while you are in or within a year after you are out.

· For example, if you have a bad back and an MRI to show any kind of disk abnormality, it may be worth upwards of 20% depending on pain and limitation of motion. And remember, most conditions, if discovered during the first year of your discharge, will most likely be rated as SERVICE-CONNECTED, based on presumptive connection to service.

· The bad thing is that it works the other way as well—if you find something wrong with you 366 days after you get out, it is NOT service-connected. Automatic DENIAL is a sure thing.

· Thing is, neither the VA nor TriCare in the good old USA will want to rush to getting an MRI accomplished. In the States, before a doctor will order an expensive procedure or test, she wants to be convinced that it must be done. This means you might have to complain about your back, or whatever, continuously until your doctor relents and consents to the cost of the test. What happens if a year passes before you can finally convince your doctor to tell TriCare that you NEED an MRI? The answer is you might lose the possibility of getting service-connection for your condition!

· Here's an important one for you over-40 vets... increased urination! If you notice you are voiding a lot more than you did when you were in your 20s and 30s, chances are you have some kind of problem with your prostate, kidney or bladder. Go to the clinic and FIND OUT now! It's easier to do it while you are still on active duty.

· Of course, every time you complain about a twinge, or a pain, or a pang, that is EVIDENCE, and it is no little thing because it shows chronicity, severity and history. My advice is NOT to worry about being a “sick call ranger” because believe me, the Air Force, Army, Navy, and especially the USMC is NOT going to be there for you once you get out. Take care to get ALL your problems documented and DIAGNOSED while you are in. That way, once your service washes IT’S hands of YOU, the VA can start to take up the slack. Hey, you deserve it!

Stay tuned for part 4… parts 1, 2

Still Looking for Madeleine McCann

Warning: Please do not read this if you are of the McCann family or friends.

During The First Gulf War in late 1990 at a dusty base on the Saudi Peninsula, I picked up a donated paperback out of a cardboard carebox full of them from the States. That musty-smelling little book changed my life by opening my eyes—not to goodness and light, but to darkness and evil.

It wasn’t a self-help book—in fact, it was anything but uplifting. The story within its faded covers was about a hideous horrible pseudo-man named Fish. For the two or three days it took me to get through it I could hardly eat. The thought that men of his ilk walk among us sickened the appetite right out of me.

The story I cringingly read was about the perverted life of Albert Fish. He was a psychopath, probably along the same lines as Ted Bundy. Their similarities were more numerous than their differences. The slick talking, good-looking Bundy bit, tortured and murdered women; while ugly Albert kidnapped, tormented and consumed children. Both were confidence men who satisfied their sick cravings through their magnetic charm and sly lies. They made people trust them, and then they betrayed that trust in the most unspeakable ways.

Even now, just the thought of Albert Fish makes me queasy. So, how did reading about this sicko change my life, and what does it have to do with the missing Madeleine? It’s obvious really. I first became a father in 1979 to a precious baby girl, and I was blessed with several more children after that. Of course, when I see pictures of little Madeleine and read of her family’s anguish I think of my OWN children. To me, lost children belong to ALL of us. WE must find them! And sadly, now that she IS missing, and for so long, I am once again reminded of Fish.

I also remember my own childhood, when I was 4. Back then, we lived in a trailer park in the middle of the woods just walking distance from Mud Lake, Maine. In 1961, I don’t think my parents had ever heard of Albert Fish, because my little sister and I pretty much wandered about and played anywhere we had a mind to. I know for certain that there were times that my mother did not know where the heck I was. But things were different back then. People were more trusting, perhaps naively so; because people like Fish have always been around, living among us, and waiting for an opportunity to strike.

After finding out about evil beings like Albert Fish, I have never looked at anyone quite the same again, especially while considering the love and responsibility I felt and feel for my own kids. My first batch of children are long grown and on their own. Just the same, Madeleine’s disappearance is very poignant to me because as I write this I have two little girls depending on me to see them through—they are 4 and 6, and I watch over them like a hawk. Admittedly, I wasn’t nearly as mindful of my “pre-Fish children,” but post-Fish, I became super-protective and super-vigilant—NO ONE is going to hurt my girls!

I know if the McCann’s could go back in time to that fateful evening, they would never have left their children in a strange house alone and unprotected. But I would never consider blaming them; because pre-Fish, I might have done something similar. It’s a hard thing to ponder—that there are sub-humans out there that would hurt our kids. Nevertheless, thanks to a book about a monster named Fish I became nauseatingly aware of them.

In 1936, Albert Fish was put to death in the electric chair at Sing Sing. Through some pretty good detective work he was arrested, put on trial and found guilty of the 1928 murder of 10-year-old Grace Budd. If you can believe it, after meeting with her parents just twice, they agreed to let her go with the grandfatherly benign-looking 58-year-old Fish, supposedly to his sister’s birthday party. They left hand-in-hand and then, nothing. She was gone forever. As far as what happened to her, what he told the police is unutterable for me.

Once sentenced to death, with nothing to lose, he described ad nauseum the life-long personal history of his attacks, killings and molestations. He was into a wide gamut of perversions, things that I never heard of; but I couldn’t care less about that. His sick fetish for torturing, killing and cannibalizing children is what turned my stomach and turned me into a whole new dad—a very very wary one.

Learning about this guy made the world a dreadfully menacing place for me, but knowing about “the dark side” of people can also be useful, if it keeps one from becoming complacent.

Keep your children close, and keep praying for little Madeleine.

See also Finding Madeleine McCann