Mom's Haley Family Memories, part 4: Our Unforgettable "Aunt LaLa"

little Mary and Brother Bill 
with Aunt LaLa
circa the late 1930s

Now, let’s start gathering family relationship memories...

Could you describe your relationship with Aunt Helen? I know that at times there was some tension between you two and I also remember her causing me to feel "small" on occasion when she would criticize.  

A very young Aunt LaLa
3 years old

Let's see, about Aunt Helen, or “LaLa” as we called her when we were all kids, she was a very frustrated “old maid."  She would have loved to have married and had children of her own but that was not to be. First of all she was a very large lady. She weighed 12 lbs at birth and just kept on growing. In all of her pics I never saw her with even a suggestion of thinness. She helped her Mom raise three children for the province of Ontario so she exercised her mother instincts there and felt she knew everything there was to know about raising children. 

Aunt Helen only about 3 yrs old

Whoa wait. What do you mean by she helped her mom raise three children for Ontario? Are you talking about foster kids?

Yes they raised foster kids.   One girl was close to Aunt Helen's age and then later on Grandma took in a sister and a brother who were around my age. I think they were paid by the province to do this. I know at that time my Grandpa Haley was not working and only Aunt Helen (LaLa) worked at the Eaton Department Store in Toronto.  She would buy all our clothes there at quite a discount.

Aunt Helen first communion
about 10 or 12 yrs old

So they raised these foster kids. Did the kids go on and become part of the family?  And what do you mean she got quite a discount from the department store? Was that due to her doing foster care for the province?

Aunt Helen, my aunt, worked at Eaton's Department Store all her life and because she worked there she got any purchases there at a discount. So the discounts had nothing to do with the province foster care.

Aunt LaLa holding
either Bill or Mary 30s

What happened to all those foster kids raised by your grandmother and Aunt LaLa? Did they remain in the family? Did they stay in touch? 

Sorry to say I really don't know.   All that info died with my Aunt Helen. You know she was my godmother and she felt that meant she should help raise me too I guess. We loved to see her visit because she always brought Grandma (who was Helen’s mother of course) with her, who by the way was the sweetest woman alive. (Mom, sounds like we need a paragraph JUST on HER! We’ll add it down below this one.)   Aunt Helen was really bossy to her too.  As happy as we were to see her arrive, we were probably happier to see her go.  

"Little" Aunt Helen standing behind a WWI Canadian soldier

My Grandmother, Lenora Ladle Haley was born in Burlington I’m pretty sure.  I don't know how she met her hubbie Patrick Albert Haley. She had a red haired daughter first, Nora, who died very young.   My Dad was born in 1905.  Then came George Cameron Haley (I think his middle name was Cameron).   Charlie, my dad, when he was learning to talk couldn't say George; instead, he called him Dodes, and that name stuck with him all his life.   Aunt Helen (LaLa) was next and she never married.  Uncle Art was after her; his real name was James Arthur Haley.   Grandpa didn’t go by Patrick but rather by Bert and Uncle Art didn't go by his first name either.   Aunt Helen was always LaLa to us; it seems like nicknames were very prevalent then.

Grandma Nora Haley was a sweet quiet lady and I never heard a mean word come from her.   We all loved her and she always had a hug for us.  My Uncle Art always said that I looked just like her.   So I guess I am more Haley than Kehoe.  She had a severe kidney infection and never told Aunt Helen (her daughter) that she wasn't feeling well until she was very ill with it.   She was admitted to the hospital for treatment. At the time, in the late 50s, there was a bad flu epidemic going on.   She got the Flu in the hospital and couldn't fight both infections and died when you were just 6 months old.    She did get to see your picture though and was so pleased to have a great-grandson.  I'll try to get some info about my Mom, who had a wonderful sweet personality. (She does further below).

1933
top: Helen, Dods, Grace
Center: Charlie, George, Baby Bill w Grandma, Winnie
Art

How did Aunt Helen take it when Grandma stood up to her?  Grandma was not from her side of the family so how did Aunt Helen react at that moment?  Did she apologize, back down, go quiet or just huff and walk away?

Mary Winifred Grandma Helen
late 40s or so

Mom stood up to her a couple of times and if we could have cheered we would have.  If I remember correctly, Aunt Helen just grew quiet and walked away when Mom stood up to her.  Actually, Aunt Helen did have a good heart and if it hadn't been for her we would have had some very sparse Christmases.   She brought many gifts for us on Christmas and birthdays.  Mom and Dad never had an extra penny for gifts when we were small.   You and MK were her first grandnephew and niece; she showered you with gifts too and likewise to Kevin and Gail. She couldn't see that she was sort of self centered but that's all ancient history.   Hope I haven't said too many mean things about her.  Just stating the facts I guess.

Artie Helen n unknown cousin about 1912

Naw, you aren’t that hard on her at all. You include the pleasant with the not so. That’s life. We all have our rough edges, you know?  It’s what makes us human. I do know you didn't include some of the stories where she actually made you cry, when she could be so mean, but that’s ok. She put some edge into your personality, which everyone needs to get along in the world. We can't all be sweet little lamb people, got to have some wolf in there too to keep you alive and kicking when things get tough.

Aunt Helen in the middle
of two friends 1930s

So, were you the only one that felt the sting of Aunt Helen's criticisms?  Did the others have your sensitive side and feel the hurt as well or just you?  I imagine all of you felt the brunt of her bossiness eh? 

Aunt Helen wearing
skates w hockey stick

The other kids in my family all had the same experiences with her. Helen did even as a grown up.   Aunt Helen had come over for Gail's First Communion and was going to stay at Helen and Jerry's. When they drove into the driveway at my sister Helen's house Brian had done some mischief of some kind and Jerry lost it, yelling and ranting at Brian, who of course sat cowering (I imagine). Aunt LaLa got all upset and said “I will not stay in this house!” and told them to take her back to Winnie's (my Mom's).   My poor sister cried and begged her to stay but she would have none of it.  Turned out she went to Uncle Art's for the rest of her visit. I remember feeling so bad for my sister.   Jerry didn't realize he had done anything wrong and couldn't figure out what all the fuss was about.

Before publishing the story above I thought I’d pass it by my cousin Brian; his mom and dad are the Helen and Jerry from the story.

Hey Brian, I'm publishing my mom's memoirs in installments on my blog so more people can view them. Of course not everything in life is peaches and cream. There is one mention of an event involving your dad, your mom and our Aunt Helen (LaLa). I don't know if you remember her or not but she figured big in the family up until her death. She was hyper-critical and sometimes hard to take. Anyway, read this and let me know if you think you or your sisters and brother would prefer I don't put it in the blog version. I personally don't think it’s bad at all since your dad is who he is, and the same thing goes for Aunt LaLa. It’s more of an example of a clash of personalities. But if you think it will make your family uncomfortable or unhappy I won't include it in the installment. Get back to me buddy!

Helen aka Aunt LaLa Haley

Phil,

Thanks for asking.  Don't see any reason this cannot go out as written.  Everyone knows dad has a temper and has never been one to hold back. 

Yes, I remember Aunt LaLa.  We visited her home when I was pretty young—I believe Theresa was a baby—sometime in the late 60s. I remember bits and pieces of playing outside on a tricycle or big wheel, or something like that in the front drive.

Haleys Mike and Bill
w their Aunt Helen Dec 57

I don't remember this specific situation mentioned by your mom but it does sound like dad.  Mom probably let him have it later in private. I have often thought about Aunt LaLa and could not remember what year she died.  I remember when Grandma Kennedy died in 1973 but not Aunt LaLa, was still a bit young in '71, only 4 or 5.

Anyway, thanks for checking.  I don't think anyone in the family will have an issue with this paragraph.

Brian

So, that’s what my cousin Brian had to say about our Aunt LaLa. I thank him sincerely for providing that.

Aunt LaLa Helen 68 visit to San Antonio at Expo

Back to my Mom: So Mom, my memories of Aunt LaLa have stayed with me since her death in 1971. She died of cancer right?  How did that go?  How did she take her impending death?  Was she okay with it?  I know it must have been rough on her. 

You know, Aunt Helen’s was the first funeral I ever went to; I'm pretty sure she died before Grandpa Spear, right?  I remember after the funeral going back to my bed that night in Grandma's basement (Gail’s house now) and being totally spooked. I lay there scared to death staring up the ceiling without a hint of sleep until the next morning. It was the longest night of my life.

Aunt LaLa Helen in 68 visit to San Antonio

Last evening I was talking to Winnie about Aunt Helen's death. She died on August 19, 1971.  I'm not sure when her cancer was diagnosed. She was okay when we first came home and retired from the AF so she probably didn't suffer for more than that year.  Thank God as you are right, that is usually a painful death. She and her Uncle Archie Ladle had sold the Ladle home and moved to an apartment and that’s where she died.  Ally Metcalf, her cousin’s widow, lived in the same apartment building.  Helen took care of Uncle Archie until he passed away and when she died she had already made arrangements to be buried in the US. (I think).  So she had a funeral in Burlington and then her body was brought here and that is the funeral you went to.  You had finished 8th grade, getting ready to start high school in Birch Run.  You didn't mention how much that funeral affected you at the time. I guess that was the first one you experienced (until Grandpa Spear died in November of that same year).

Family comments added below:

Art Grandma Helen Haley early 30s

Charles Walkowiak I remember Aunt La La very well which is kinda surprising because I was only 5 or 6 yrs old when she passed. My 1st recollection seeing her was during Christmas at Grandmas, and as Aunt Mary stated, she had presents for all us kids. I recall liking her for that because she gave me a gift and I didn't even know who she was. I still remember the gift. It was a set of building blocks of some type. I recall the following summer, going with my parents in their station wagon to flint to pick her up from the train station. I was excited and adamant on going because I was sure she would have another gift for me. She didn't and I remember being disappointed. I'm pretty sure she was visiting for the family reunion, because I remember her there and yelling at all us little kids to go play and stay away from the tables until after the adults had eaten. It seems I suddenly did not like her much after that and was kinda afraid of her. Last thing, I do remember her dying because I thought that I just saw her recently and she was the first person I knew that had died. I also remember not being able to go to funeral. I think I was upset because Audrey was allowed to go. I could be wrong.

it's kinda funny. I guess I'll add that I also recall my mother telling us to behave around Aunt LaLa. I asked why. And I'm pretty sure she said something to the affect of "well she has never had any children so she is not very patient with them" LOL

Fil Spare Chuck... I'll have to question your mom about that "reason" to watch your p's and q's around her, since it turns out she was around a lot of children, helping her parents with a series of foster kids and all. Sounds like Aunt Win was stretching the truth a bit to keep you guys in line around her Chuck... that IS hilarious.

Charles Walkowiak Phil, now that you mention it, I seem to recall mom ALWAYS telling me to behave when we would go visit relatives

Maybe it was ALL me. 

Aunt Helen maybe 10 yrs old in Toronto

Winnie Walkowiak Oh how she loved all of her Grand Nephews and Nieces..as she loved all of us.., yes she was stern probably as her parents were ., we were always taught that we should be seen but not heard..lol..(not in todays world...kind of happy about that change.)..I remember going shopping down town with her and my sisters always walking ahead of them And she would say(isn't she cute?), so of course whenever I would be around people at the tender age of 3,4, and 5, I would say (Ain't I cute) an embarrassing moment for mom and dad and my older siblings)...Thanks LaLa.., she was so giving..A christening gift was given to us older nieces and nephews for our oldest child-and each of our children were baptized in the gown...,she also always bought Canadian flannel and mail too me to makes diapers for my new babies...and by the way Phil,-what your cuz Chuck -I wasn't stretching the truth-I didn't want them to be told by her to behave and then dislike her...

 Phil - Mom's story about Aunt Lala - has become a wonderful story from all the grand nieces and nephews about her but also their Uncles and Aunts... so much love reading all your comments - if you had been in the shop this afternoon - a few comments were were made by a couple other grand nieces.... hope everyone has enjoyed this as much as your Aunt Winnie.

Aunt Helen if looks could kill her brother Artie would be dead!

Kevin Spear Okay, so, the lilac smell you remember so vividly was actually lavender. Yardley English Lavender, to be specific. She used to give it to grandma Haley as gifts, I think. But it was also her favorite. 
My memory of that particular funeral is that there was a song in the radio that was played heavily during that time. "Sweet City Woman". It had a banjo solo. By The Stampeders, who were actually Canadian, it turns out. It was playing in the car on the way home from the funeral parlor in Vassar. Makes me think of her to this day every time I hear it. 
Also, in true Irish fashion, I remember Frank Geary taking Joe, Jim, and, I think Pat (Art) Haley out to the parking lot of the funeral home to "change a flat tire". Alcohol was involved.

Helen feeding chickens

Michael Haley Very cool I remember Aunt LaLa and felt the lash of her tongue more than once.... Don't know why I was such a good kid after all...I do remember Grandma snapping back at her once "leave him alone" or some such probably remember that because Grandma was never one for confrontation. I also vaguely remember Uncle Archie, we took a trip to Canada when I was very small he had this little wooden chair that I apparently called my chair because it was my size. When we left he said I should take it, that chair sat in my bedroom my whole childhood, I have it still

By the way I've been doing some digging the last few years and Ladle or Laidle is a Welsh name, not saying that part of the family didn't emigrate from Ireland, lot of back and forth between the islands, just thought that was interesting. I was surprised to learn that

Aunt Helen sitting w parasol n grandma w cousins

Theresa Kennedy Krawczyk I remember playing with all of her jewelry!

Fil Spare Where was that Theresa? It was in a jewelry box?

Theresa Kennedy Krawczyk It was after she died...I think my mom got a jewelry box full of her jewelry??

Charles Walkowiak I also remember that jewelry box. I recall seeing it and told about it from Brian at your parents and being creeped out because it was a dead lady's jewelry. I thought "why wasn't it buried with her?"

Theresa Kennedy Krawczyk I loved playing with that jewelry!!!!  I wish I still had it!

Aunt Helen w brother Art about 1915 or so

Aunt Helen with baby buggy later given to Mary
and destroyed by her brothers (chuckle!)

Aunt Helens friend Ester Lynn winter 1929

Helen w little brother Art n Grandma Haley about 1916

Mom's Haley Family Memories, part 3: She becomes a Spear

1955 The time Mom was
dating her future husband

I just realized we haven’t discussed how you met Dad.

Your dad and I first met when a bunch of us went to a dance hall east of Saginaw; I was with Bob Smith, an old air force buddy of Gene's. Your father was a great dancer and I was telling his date (also set up by our mutual Nursing Friend from Shields) that I sure would like to dance with that guy she was with.   No one was going steady or anything, just dates for a fun evening. Rudy Ann was our mutual friend from Shields and she set up another date for us all and we went to a dance hall in Shields. New Years Eve was next and his original date had to work so Rudy Ann asked me to go with him. So that is how we met and started going together. 

The other nurse started dating Rudy Ann's brother who was also in the air force.  Gene and I dated just about every weekend when he would come up to Saginaw from Selfridge AFB down near Detroit.  April 19th 1955 he took me to see a movie with Bing Crosby playing a knight in Camelot (that would be A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court filmed in 1949). That is when he proposed and already had the diamond ring. We were married the following year on February 11, 1956.

Could you describe your wedding and the planning of it? And spare no detail since I don’t know a thing about how it went.

I had 10 months to plan the wedding. Mom and Dad didn't have much money so Gene said he would pay for the reception, drinks and the band. Dad and Mom took care of the breakfast and the food for the reception dinner. The relatives came from Canada, Flint, Detroit and Marlette.    Since it was a winter wedding I wanted the bridesmaids to wear navy gowns and my Mom made white velvet muffs and white velvet head bands for them to wear in the cold. It all looked a bit wintry and I thought very pretty.

My cousin, Peggy Geary, was the maid of honor.  My sister Helen was my bridesmaid while my sister Winnie was the junior Bridesmaid.  The best man was Gene’s best friend Bill Dijak. The ushers were Gene's brother Dale and my brothers Bill and Mike.

Mary, Gene, Peggy Geary, Bill Dijak, Helen Haley, Dale Spear, Winnie Haley

Okay, the wedding day started out not too cold, a bit early in the day because there were two at Saint Mary's Cathedral that day. Ours was at 9 am.  

Father Paul (Barney) Atallah

The wedding was performed by our family friend, Father Paul (Barney) Attallah.  He came over from Toronto to marry us. His nickname Barney came from the fact that he had had measles as a child and lost his vision considerably and had to wear very thick glasses; even with those on he had to hold the book up close to his face to read.  That did not keep him from being ordained a priest though and he was a very good one. His friends gave him the name after “Barney Google."

I never knew his last name was Attallah. That is an Arabic name. Where was he from?

Father Barney was not Arabic; he was from Lebanon, a very Catholic Country near Syria which of course is an Islamic country. So far Lebanon has continued to be Christian (currently about 33% of the population), they are very peace loving people and I have always admired that country.

Because the wedding was so early all the close relatives came to our house for breakfast. They did that while the wedding party went to Novak’s Portrait Studio to have the wedding pictures taken (very formal in those days). There were a few shots taken at the Church and my Aunt Helen took many informal ones at our house.  

Around 3 pm it started to snow and really came down fast and heavy. My Dad was concerned about the supper and reception to be held at a small hall near Gene’s home in Gratiot.  He wanted to call it off as he was so worried about the travelers coming. It did stop snowing but not before about nearly 2 feet had fallen.  The roads were plowed but the parking lot at the hall, not too much; so I had to be carried into the hall to keep my long white dress from getting muddy.  The Bridesmaids had on shorter dresses of course so no problem there.

So hey wait! Who carried you into the hall through the snow?

You're dad of course!

Only a few days after the wedding
A gathering of Haley and Spear gals

The reception went very well and we danced to the music after dinner like all receptions progress.  The roads weren't bad by the end of the evening and we were able to go back to my house and change clothes and take off for the hotel which was in Midland. The roads to there weren't all that good but we made it okay. 

There was no extended honeymoon so on Sunday morning we went to Mass in Midland (the same church that I made my First Communion, at St. Bridget's). With time being so short Gene and I almost immediately went out to California where he was to leave for Japan. Shortly before that he put me on a plane back to Saginaw. That trip to California took about 4 days so that was our honeymoon.  I went back to work; and then, on May 5^th, I left to fly to Japan to join him.

From "kid sister," Winnie, the junior bridesmaid remarks: Good Job Mary...... I remember this day so well...especially when I was thrown in the huge snow bank - by one of my goofy cousins (Jerry Haley) from Canada... Great day it was. I believe I was in the 8th grade.

Mom's Haley Family Memories, part 2: She was a nurse

You were a practicing nurse from the mid 50’s all the way through your retirement in the 1980s so it was a major part of your life. I’m sure it defined you; I know I defined you, partly, by that side of you; so I’d like to devote this next section to the story of your nursing career. You've already talked a bit about it, like the scholarship, the years you trained, but I would like to get into details. Nurses always have interesting stories. I remember you coming home from work many times with some tales to tell, sometimes funny, sometimes hair-raising.

I am pretty sure I knew I'd try for nursing school in the beginning of the 12th grade.  I investigated to see what classes I needed and found I had everything except Chemistry.  I had gotten pretty good marks in all my other classes so I signed up for Chemistry and Biology in my senior year. I had already taken all the other college requirement classes. I knew I would need typing so I took that class during my lunch hour. All in all it was a very busy senior year. Saint Mary's High School had a very high accreditation so I didn't have to take any entrance exams into college.  Saint Mary's Hospital Nursing School was affiliated with Central Michigan University, so that worked out well.

I applied for the Scholarship and everything looked pretty good but then near the end of the school year I found that they had given the scholarship to my classmate, Jim Bray, because he had decided he would go into the Seminary. I was very disappointed but then applied for a loan and was accepted for that through The School of Nursing.   Halfway through my freshman year of nursing I was informed that I would get the scholarship after all because Jim had decided the priesthood wasn't for him after all.  So I was given 2/3 of the original amount of money as he 

St. Mary's School before demolition in 2008

had already paid 1/3 of it to the seminary.   So after I graduated from nursing school, I had to pay back that loan which wasn't that hard to do because I had a job in the “OR” (operating room) before graduation.

It was truly like going to College.  We had professors from CMU come to our nursing school for the classes and then halfway through our first year we went on the floor where we staffed the hospital, still in a learning mode.   There were lots of college grad nurses on the staff and they were our teachers in the hospital. We worked really hard on the different floors the next two years with affiliations at the TB (tuberculosis) Hospital in Detroit and the Psychiatric Hospital in Dearborn.  So all in all it was a pretty well rounded complete education.

Tell the story about the leg in the “flower box.” I love that one.

OR (surgery) was what I really liked after graduation. The story about the leg amputation is true—just a little bit of humor on the job. I was walking past the X-ray department on my way to the room where they would pick up the leg (It would be buried after the doctor examined it again) and one of the girls from X-ray jokingly asked if the flowers were for her (the box was long like a big bouquet of flowers would be packed in). I guess I just couldn't resist and went along with the spoof.

You were the first in the family to graduate college. How did they feel about that?

Yes the family was really proud as I was the first in the family to get a college degree.   My grandparents came to the graduation as did my God parents.   We celebrated with dinner at the house afterward. Gene and I were engaged then and had pretty much set the date for the wedding. It was supposed to be in May (of 1956) as that was the Month of Mary (The Blessed Mother). Then he got orders for Japan and we were all tore up about what to do.  So we needed to move up our wedding date and I picked February 11 as that is the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes.  I worked in the OR until I was able to join him in Japan the following May.  (I will send you this much and finish the rest tomorrow).

Saint Joseph's Hospital in Bangor Maine
Early 60s
The new hospital being built to replace
 the one Mom worked in on the right

Okay back to my nursing Jobs after I graduated.  I worked in the OR at Saint Mary’s until I left for Japan. Then I did not work until a little after Gail was born in 1963. We talked of starting to save money to eventually buy a home when Dad retired, so he suggested that I get back into nursing. I went to work at St. Joseph's. It was a small Catholic hospital in Bangor that was actually a converted mansion run by the Felician Nuns. Nursing had advanced quite a lot in the intervening 7 years from 1956 so it was a little bit of a challenge for me to get back into the swing of hospital nursing again.  But that small hospital was a good place to do that.  I think I worked there for about a year or so until Dad went back into Security Service work (high level Air Force intelligence) and that meant transferring back to Security Service type bases.  After he had completed his schooling at bases in Mississippi and Florida we went to Turkey for the first time for two years at Karamürsel Air Base and then back to Texas. In 1970 we headed back again to Turkey. I worked for a few months back at the hospital doing medical floor duty where my career began at Saint Mary’s while we were waiting to join him in Turkey.  Then, when Dad retired in 1971 I started working at Dr. Koenig's office in Saginaw for the next 18 years, retiring for good in 1989.   So that is my nursing story.

I definitely remember that you worked at hospitals in Texas (San Antonio) because there were times when you would come home just dead tired and cranky. In fact, THE only time I've ever seen you "lose it" was I believe in San Antonio one afternoon when I was bugging you that I was hungry. You stunned me when you just went off and began to slam food out of the cupboard onto the table in front of me. I remember feeling so embarrassed for myself and bad for you because I knew that you didn't mean to be so mean. I also remember you having a few incredible tales about some of your patients, like the guy that came in with maggots on his wound, stuff like that. I really didn't know that you had worked in so many different hospitals.

Sorry I was kind of in a hurry to complete that nursing jobs note. I thought I had mentioned working in San Antonio early in my notes. That was a hard job as they put me in charge many nights and I was uncomfortable taking charge. I was sooo tired doing that. It was at the Methodist Hospital on the outskirts of San Antonio. A much belated apology for being such a crabby Mom. I can barely remember that. Sorry.

Ha! No apologies necessary. I only brought it up because in retrospect THAT one incident is about the worst I ever remember you getting with us or with me anyway. I think also that at the time Dad was gone during that long TDY to Naples Italy, so you were stressed out from that as well I suspect. Of course with us just being kids we weren't very sensitive about how all that might affect you.

Did you work at the base hospital in Karamürsel as well? Seems like we did a bit of the latchkey kid stuff back then but I can't recall for sure.

No.  I never worked when we were overseas.   I just talked to a friend that I go out to Breakfast with after 8 o'clock Mass on Sundays and after she married and started her family, she didn't work much at all.   Sure have to give credit to all working moms, not an easy thing to do.    Another anecdote was walking into one of the patient’s room and seeing a guy who went to Saint  Mary's High and graduated a year ahead of me—a really small world.  When Mary Kay was born in Japan, the nurse who helped with the delivery was a Saint Mary's Hospital grad who was a classmate of a friend in Birch Run—small world!

One of the things I remember about much of your work related comments at the time was your fondness and kindness to your older patients. Has that changed now that you are one of them yourself? Somehow I doubt it. Chuckle… 

Actually I have always received great care when in the hospital or going for tests.  I guess in the end you receive the pretty much the same as you give.

Okay, sounds like you believe in karma Mom! What you sewed as a sympathetic caring nurse all those years is what you now reap as an aged patient. 

Mom's Haley Family Story, part 1: first memories

1952 at 18 years old

Mom, I got with Mary Kay and asked her if she wouldn't want to conduct a series of interviews with you as I did with Dad back in 2000 so that we can put together a family lore for the Haley side of our family the way I already did with Dad’s family memories. She says she isn't up to the task of all that and considering that you aren't getting any younger, and since none of us is really very aware of ALL of “your story,” I thought that if you are up to it that I’d like to capture your memories to cover the period from your childhood up through nursing school and beyond, as well as any other stories and tales from your side of the family...  So, what do you think?  We can just do a little at a time and I will compile it as we go, asking lots of questions and cross examining based on your responses...     Want to try? 

Sure, a little at a time; but give me some time to think about it though? 

Okay, so, think about this....   What are your very FIRST memories?  How old were you; where were you; what was happening at the time?  Don’t worry about grammar; just let it fly as memories occur.

c 1935

My first memories are sitting in my grandparents house in Toronto in what I now know is called Cabbage Town, the home of many Irish people. It was a three story line house on Welsh Boulevard.  I drove by it about fifteen or so years ago (in the mid 90s).   It still looked the same.   Seems like I spent a lot of time there. I was born at Saint Michael's Hospital in Toronto and went by it during the same visit. 

I remember sitting in the living room with my Aunt Helen and her cousins and we all would sing. They taught me to sing "The White Cliffs of Dover." Canada was in the 2nd World War then and that was their patriotic song. I remember standing by myself singing that song for them all.

At 2 years old

WWII? Let’s see, Canada still sees itself as British, so the war started for them in 1939.

How old do you think you were when you sang for them all?  Do you still know the words to the song; could you sing it today? 

I was probably about 4 or 5 years old when I learned and sang "The White Cliffs of Dover."  Yes I can still sing it today. Canada was already involved in the war as they were still subjects of Britain then.  They got their Independence later.  

Yeah, Canadians were considered “subjects” of the crown until 1947. Now they are called “commonwealth citizens.” It’s why a lot of Canadians still consider themselves British, SO misguided!

 

Mary Haley 1937
3 years old

From Wikipedia:  "(There'll Be Bluebirds Over) The White Cliffs of Dover" is a popular Second World War song made famous by Vera Lynn with her 1942 version – one of her best-known recordings. Written in 1941 by Walter Kent with words by Nat Burton, the song was also among the most popular Second World War tunes. It was written before America had joined, to lift the spirits of the Allies at a time when the Germans had conquered much of Europe and were bombing Britain. The song was written about a year after British and German aircraft had been fighting over the cliffs of Dover in the Battle of Britain: the song's lyrics looked towards a time when the war would be over and peace would rule over the iconic white cliffs of Dover.”

Hey Mom, I did a little research on the song "The White Cliffs of Dover" and I think you might be remembering it wrong. The song wasn't written until '41 and didn't become popular until Vera Lynn sang it in '42. So that would have made you 7 or 8 when it first hit the air waves and you guys were already back in Michigan by that time. Maybe it was a different song that you sang for them when you were 4 or 5?  I can definitely hear you singing THAT song though; it is for sure in your singing "wheel house!" Vera Lynn even SOUNDS like YOU!  

Thanks!!!  I just listened to the Vera Lynn YouTube of White Cliffs of Dover you sent me and I remember it so well, one of my favorites of all time. Oh, I guess I did remember it wrong. It probably WAS “Over the Rainbow” as that was a very popular song of that era when I was a child. I am learning to play it on the guitar. That is going pretty well.    Kevin comes over on and gives me lessons. I'm not very good but it is fun.

Ladle House in Burlinton Canada 1940s

Ahhhh, the Judy Garland song, which came out in 1939, THAT actually seems more like what a 5 year old would sing. When I was listening to Vera Lynn sing I was thinking what a remarkable song for such a tiny sprite to sing. Over The Rainbow makes a LOT more sense. But you MUST have sung White Cliffs though, because you still know it. Did you guys ever make any family trips to Toronto during the war? The song is all about a longing for the end of the war, after being won by the good guys of course!  Didn't you guys have a piano in the house?  I seem to remember one in the 12th Street house. I can imagine all you guys getting together around the piano with you singing White Cliffs. I can see it now.

12 yr old mom piano recital picture
6th grade 1946

I believe it was after the war that my Dad, Bill and I went back to visit Grandma and Aunt Helen when they were living in their apartment, before they moved back to Burlington.   Yes originally the piano belonged to my Mom’s parents.   It was in Aunt Mary's and Uncle Bob's house until they began having problems with the weakening of their floor.   My cousin, Mary Lou, told me that just last year (2013). So Grandpa Kehoe had it moved to our house and that's how Winnie and I got to take piano lessons. Grandpa and Grandma Kehoe paid for the lessons. I had six years of lessons and got a diploma in music when I graduated, as did Winnie. When Aunt Mary came to visit she was really good at playing and we all gathered around and sang our hearts out—no TV in those days.

Why do you say you know "now" that it was called Cabbage Town?  You didn't know it then?  Did you even know back then of your Irish heritage?  I suppose you were too young to think about stuff like that? 

When we went back to Toronto for the ceremonies honoring Gene's Great Grandfather Samuel Lount I learned that the Irish neighborhood was called Cabbage Town because the Irish who lived there grew cabbages in their yards instead of grass. That was pretty much a food staple for them then.  I often wondered why my dad didn't like cooked cabbage; now I understand. He must have felt it was an insult to the Irish. We were looked down on, just like the blacks were.  But we rose above it.  I did know about my heritage and was and am proud of it.   Your dad was part Irish too; I learned from his mom that his grandmother was an Irish Catholic, Collins.

Mary Haley, First Communion 1942

Which of Dad's grandmothers was the Collins?  That's the first I've heard that. 

Gene was always teasing me about being Irish, like he was putting them down.  His mother said, “I don't know why he is putting down the Irish, his grandmother's name was Collins. So I assumed that it was her mother.   There was another aunt on the Spear side that used to come visit and stay a while, long enough that she had a bedroom upstairs. In the closet up there was a picture of Jesus and the Apostles and the Holy Family.  I believe I remember that they called her Aunt Mamie. So I think there were those of the Catholic Faith in the Spear family also.

Why were you guys in Canada then?  Grandpa had a job up there?  What year did your parents go up there, and then when did they move back to Michigan?

40, 41, and 42 were kind of wandering years for our family.  We lived in Flint and Midland for one year or so each.   I had first grade in Canada and Flint, and then second grade in Midland, then 3rd grade on through the rest of my life in Saginaw, right up until I married actually. Each move was job related.   Dad kept finding a better one and moved.   I made my first Communion in Midland and Winnie was born on June 14, 1942.  

 

1942
from left: Helen, Bill, Mike, Mary

Okay, we moved to the states in late 1940, Midland in 1941, Saginaw in 1942. We lived on Merrill Street until 1958. When your Dad and I returned from Japan in 1959 the family had moved to 12th Street.  It was the first home they had ever owned; Grandpa Kehoe had passed away and left them enough money to put a down payment on it.   

I always thought they were from Cork in Ireland but the Haley's and the Kehoe's (Grandma’s family) were from Limerick.  The Ladles were from Scotland. My father's mom, a Ladle, was Scottish.  Let's see, it was Michael Kehoe, Patrick Albert Haley, and father John Haley. I don't know my Grandma Haley's father's first name, but it might have been Archibald because that was the name of his only son—Uncle Archie.   I'm not sure of the year (that they immigrated across the Atlantic), but I think it was early to mid 1800's for all of them.

 9th grade 1948

 I was in 3rd grade at Saint Mary's in 1943 to 1952, the year I graduated from high school after which I went to Saint Mary's Hospital School of Nursing which was just three blocks from the high school, graduating as an RN in 1955.

Grandpa Haley's family in Canada was very conservative dating back to their years in New York State. As far as Roosevelt and Truman, I just remember that when people said my Dad looked like Harry S.  Truman (an uncanny resemblance!) he would get quite angry. I heard him say more than once that he didn't like people to say that, stating firmly “He sold us down the River!" (He was talking about the deals FDR and Truman made at Yalta and Potsdam that gave Stalin control of Eastern Europe, forming infamously “The Iron Curtain.”) That is just a memory I have as a young teenager. You know, I really AM enjoying this.

Mom says that this photo was taken officially for their move back to the United States from Canada