Sister Helen
Mom,
did you get a chance to chat and "collect" memories about your sister, our Aunt
Helen? What did you guys come up with?
I kept forgetting to ask
Winnie if she ever remembered Helen (their sister) getting her thyroid
checked. She doesn't think so and I don't think so either.
She was always thin and never put any weight on until near her menopause years,
then only for a short time (so she may well have had a hyperthyroid, like mine was). She was a good sister and I loved her dearly.
My
cousin Brian is Aunt Helen’s oldest son and an air force retiree same as me. He
now works in the Washington D.C. area. I asked him if he’d also like to get
involved with this “Haley family story” effort particularly concerning his late
mother’s part of “the story” as narrated by his Aunt Mary (my mom). He readily expressed interest and wrote my mother
to that effect. She responded to his questions about his mother, her sister:
On Wed, May 21, 2014 at
6:32 PM, Mary Spear wrote:
First of all Brian, I
know who you are and have thought of you often. Whenever we have any family get-togethers
we all hope to see you and Melinda there. Kevin had a Haley Family picnic
at Laurie at his home on Freeland Road last August. The Kehoe family
cousins came too. It was great fun seeing everyone.
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Aunt Helen is sitting in the middle w the long dress
Mary, my mom, is 2nd fm the left top
Cute lil Aunt Win is seated on ground middle
|
I was four years old
when your Mom was born at home in the small town of New Toronto, Ontario. My Father was born in Canada but his
father Patrick Albert Haley was born in Buffalo New York and never
took Canadian citizenship. So Dad, your grandfather, was always
an American. He came over to Flint to live with his aunt and work
here. That is where he met Mom. After they married in
1930 at the height of The Depression they went to Canada where
there were a few more opportunities for work. They stayed there until 1940. Four of us were born there—Bill, then me, Pat, and
your mom.
Our Mom was expecting
Uncle Mike and he was born about a month after we arrived back in the
states. Your Mom was 2 1/2 years old when we came
over. We moved to Midland, when your Mom was 4. My Dad
was always trying to better his job. Winnie was born in Midland. We
only lived in each city for 1 or 2 years. Finally we moved to
Saginaw and Uncle Jim was born there. Six years later Uncle Joe
came along in 1950.
 |
Late 1950s with Uncle Art & Aunt Eleanor's "crew"
Aunt Helen is top left next to sister Winnie
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Your Mom attended 12 years of
school at Saint Mary's. She took secretarial classes there and
got a job on the West Side of Saginaw just over the bridge from Downtown Saginaw doing
office work. I think she worked there till she married your
Dad. I'll try to get with your Aunt Winnie for more stories.
She was going to sit down and write what she remembers about Helen.
I married the year your Mom graduated from High School and left
90 days later for Japan so I missed a lot of your Mom's early adult life until
we retired in 1971. I will try to write more later as memories occur.
Love Aunt Mary
The
following is by Aunt Winnie by way of my mother in reply to my Cousin Brian
Kennedy’s request for information on his mother, their sister Helen. My mother
was a bit older than her sister Helen, so Aunt Winnie graciously provides the
following memories of her older sister Helen as well as what it was like in the
Haley household back in the day. If you are a Haley or interested in Haley life
in the 40s and 50s then the following is very powerful stuff indeed.
 |
Aunt Helen (L) in her early 20s visited us
in Maine 1960.
My sister Mary Kay (M) and Mom
|
Aunt Winnie: Hi
Brian! Hmmmm - so much about our childhood growing up! This could take a while!
I was too young to
remember your mom's younger years as she was four years older than me; but with your mom on down, we went to Emerson School; that was a block away
from our home of 20 years, 1308 Merrill Street, Saginaw, Michigan. Our next door
neighbors, the Ruckert's, were very much a part of our lives. Kathleen Ruckert
was your mom's age and they were very close friends. Many hours of fun were
spent on the Haley porch in the spring and hot summer months. The Frank Lagalo
Family along with Grandpa Tony lived across the street on Weadock.
Grandpa
Tony owned the Ice Cream Parlor and later one of his sons started Tony's Restaurant.
Years later there were many Tony's Italian Restaurants in Saginaw. The Bay City
"Grandpa Tony's” is still going strong. They were all well known for their
Italian Steak Sandwiches and thick milk shakes
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Aunt Helen (L) 20 yrs old Oct '58
Aunt LaLa with her brother George |
Kathleen
and Dan, who was a year younger, and your mom would play jacks on the porch for
hours. On many evening we recited The Rosary. There was roller skating, Hide-and-Seek
and Kick-the-Can. As Uncle Mike and I got older we joined in on all the fun.
The family had a wooden wagon and we would take turns getting in the wagon
where we would be covered with a blanket and then have to figure out where we
were going. We would do the same thing in the car when we would go with dad on
errands. We would kneel on floor - cover our eyes and try to guess what street
we were on. In the winter we would play outside for hours making angels in the
snow, building forts. Your mom loved to ice skate - many weekends and Friday
evenings were spent ice skating at Hoyt Park on Washington Avenue. Overall,
unless people knew your mom she was very shy. She also had a very good friend,
Janet Leachman, throughout her years at Saint Mary's.
Helen did a lot of babysitting in the neighborhood for the McMaster's,
Fournier's, the Piliofsifis families and the Tom Slade Family. We all
went to St Mary’s grade school and high school which was next to St Mary
Cathedral Church. Your mom was one of the only granddaughter's that was unable
to wear Grandma Kehoe's First Communion veil as our cousin Mary Lou made hers
on the same day, and they lived in Flint. So your mom was the only daughter in
our family having her own veil.
The Dominican Sisters taught at St Mary’s
and your mom found some subjects very hard. I remember her studying diligently every
evening. But she did excel in typing and bookkeeping, so after graduating from
high school she worked several jobs. I remember Schaubel New's and Garber Buick
with Great Lakes Express being her last office job. She had to go on maternity
leave I believe in her 6th month of pregnancy with you. She then was a stay-at-home
mom while you children were growing up; although I believe she did babysit for
a family over on Michigan Road for a couple of years.
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The Haley Family was a singing family.
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The Haley Family was a singing family. We all had our jobs to do, so
many evenings when doing dishes, we sang to pass the time more pleasantly. And
oh how we dreaded Saturdays! Grandma Haley would bake all day long for our
daily desserts - cakes, cookies, pies and butter tarts (that Dad would count to
make sure we didn't have any more then we were supposed to!). It would take us
hours to finish dishes due to all the baking dishes that accumulated.
Even so, poor mom would be baking again on Wednesday's as there would be
no sweets left.
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When this was taken Aunt Helen (holding towel) was just 18 years old
This was just a month after my mother's wedding
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Your mom was very
thrifty and so goodhearted, always with money put away. I remember both Aunt
Mary, in nurses training, and I, in 7/8 grade borrowing her clothes when we had
something special going on. When I was
in high school she was always there to buy my cheer leading outfits if I didn't
have enough of my own babysitting money to pay for them.
Saturday's were
definitely cleaning day. There were no such things as electric vacuum cleaners
until the early fifties. Wet news papers were put down on the area rugs, pulled
up and then swept with a broom. Washing was done in a huge kitchen with
wringer washer and twin tubs. In winter your Aunt Mary and your mom would
take the wet clothes upstairs and hang them in the attic. I also remember we
would sometimes have sock mending time. Mom would give us either a light bulb
or a wooden bulb that we would put the sock on and weave the heavy duty darning
thread through the holes making the sock's wearable for a few more months. The
family always teased Helen about her red hair and a temper to match it at
times; but she was a very loving and caring person. I have so many fond
memories of your mom.
We didn’t have TV until
I believe the fall of 1956 but my mom and dad would be invited next door on
Sunday Evenings to watch the Ed Sullivan Show. Before TV our evenings were
filled with sitting around the radio listening to shows like The Lone Ranger,
Sky King, Ozzie and Harriet, and Father Knows Best. We would argue over what
show we were going to listen to. Of course there was also The Rosary broadcast
during Lent and The Bishop Sheen Hour that we listened to on Sunday evenings.
Every morning Grandma Haley would have the Breakfast Club on and of course in
the evenings Dad would listen to the hockey and baseball games and any other
sports that he could tune in.
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My mom & dad's wedding Feb 1956
18 year old Aunt Helen is 2nd from the right
Aunt Winnie is 15 on the right
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Whenever Grandma and
Grandpa and our aunt and uncles came in from Flint, we kids would be upstairs
taking turns looking down through the vents watching them play cards and
listening to all the fun they were having.
During many a supper
time your mom, Uncle Mike and myself would find ourselves sitting in the closet
because we would be giggling at the table, and when we couldn't stop, Dad would
tell us to go into the closet until we could behave. We would come back and sit down, look at each
other and start laughing all over again. So right back to the closet we went.
Uncle Art Haley lived
with us when he got out of the army (at the end of WWII). He was just like a kid also, chasing Uncle
Bill and Uncle Mike through the house and jumping off the stairway landing into
the breakfast room. All that craziness would only take place when Dad was out
on the road making his sales rounds. He would come home on weekends. Mom was a
saint to put up with all the shenanigans and racket every evening.
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The entire Haley Family.
Aunt Helen 22 is next to my mom, 3rd from left
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When it was time for bed
Mom would sit in her rocking chair up in the hallway with all of us kids at her
knees saying our evening prayers. After tucking us into bed she would rock
there until we were all asleep. What a wonderful example she was to all of us.
Mom was 48 years of age when Joe was born. At that time in 1950 Bill was 18,
Mary 16, your mom 12, Mike 10, myself 8, and Jim 6.
As a family we never went on vacations. In the hot summer months during
the polio epidemic, if the weather was hot we were not allowed to go outside
from 12 noon until 4 in the afternoon. I remember having to take salt pills
during that time. I only remember one summer going on a picnic at Ojibway
Island when I was about 8 years old. We also went to Flint occasionally to
see Grandma and Grandpa Kehoe, but on a few occasions, if the seven of us
children were too rambunctious, Dad would turn around and go back home. So our
Mom, because of us, wasn’t able to visit with her parents. (Funny what we
remember growing up!) Poor Mom, and she never complained.
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Aunt Helen (top center) is 24 during this photo
taken during our visit to Michigan |
But we had a wonderful
childhood growing up, no different than our neighbors at the time. We were poor
but we didn't know it or dwell on it. Dad always made sure there was a roof
over our head and food on the table. We were raised in the 30's through the 50's
when most of the families that were our neighbors were going through the same
hard times.
Our Christmases were
magical. We never saw the Christmas tree until Christmas morning. The stockings
were full of oranges, apples, and walnuts (no coal so we must have been pretty
good!). We usually got one toy or game and Aunt LaLa and Grandma would send a
huge box full of clothes. Dad would go
out with Mom on Christmas Eve to get one gift for each one of us. Mother would
knit mitten's etc. She also made a lot of our clothes, even our winter
coats.
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The Haley "girls!"
Aunts Winnie, Helen and my mom with Grandma Haley
I think all 4 have been drinking!
Probably sometime in the early 70s |
We moved to 637 South
12th Street in summer of 1956. Your mom met a new friend Pat LeRoux whom
she became very good friends with. Helen loved to dance. She and Pat spent many
weekends dancing at the Falcon's Club, also at the Four Aces and The Red Horse.
I believe that is where she met your Dad. I also knew your dad when I was in
high school at Holy Rosary; he and your Uncle Jim used to chum around in our
neighborhood at one of my friend’s from Holy Rosary high school. It’s a small
world; he ended up meeting your mom and the rest is history.
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Aunt Helen foreground next to Uncle Jerry
late 1970s
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Feel free to share this
with Mark - Theresa and Karen. I hope this gives you an idea of what our
childhood was like and how much your mom meant to all of us in the Haley
Family.
__________________
Aunt Helen’s passing was hard to bear. It took
place over about a dozen years. At only 50 years old, Alzheimer’s began
to conquer her body starting in the late 1980s and early 1990s. It was horrible
for her of course but it was also tough on all those who loved her, her family
and close friends. The pain of her passing is still so strong, even until now,
that I was not able to get anyone to reminisce about her final years. I will
say though that she did not go down easy. She fought for life as hard as anyone
can, right up until the bitter end. So, I will make this epilogue of her final
years, months and days a spare one; although if anyone wants to add anything I
will certainly do so.
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Most of the extended Haley Family in the late 1960s
I look to be about 10 years old in this wearing striped shirt front right standing
Aunt Helen (Center) holding both hands of one of her brood, probably my cousin Brian
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As you were! I was able
to contact two of my cousins, make that three of them, just now on Facebook, Aunt Helen’s kids Brian,
Theresa and Karen, who gave me their input on their mom's difficult demise.
Theresa was particularly forthcoming:
Brian: My mother was
born in May 1938 and passed 16 August 2001, same death date as Elvis, only 24
years later and only a few weeks before Sep 11th. That would make her just over
63 when she died. You are correct Phil that she started showing signs of the
disease in the early 90s. My first experience was on leave from the Air Force
in 93 when she didn't know exactly who I was except that I was a relative.
Karen: She was
misdiagnosed for 4 years as having "healthy woman going through menopause.” She was finally correctly diagnosed in 1991. She was 50 when she got it in 1988 and 63 when she
died in 2001.
Theresa: Back then they didn't know what they know now
with the progression. The meds even now just slow it down and cannot cure it.
She progressed through her stages very quickly because she was a lot younger when
this happened.
Phil: Oh, i didn't
realize that’s how it worked... So, younger onset means quicker progression?
Theresa: Yes, she progressed very quickly.
Phil: Ah, you mean she
kind of lost herself very quickly? Because she lasted a long time, more than 12
years.
Theresa: Correct.
Phil: I had only a few
months left before retirement when she finally died. I remember she could no
longer accept a feeding tube at the end.
That was a heartbreaking thing to contemplate, to finally go that way.
Theresa: Yes! It was
very hard! She was on a feeding tube for 5 years. She was young and we loved
her, so we did what we thought best.
Phil: I personally would never
question such a thing. You did it
exactly correct. Always “err” on the side of life!
Theresa: Alzheimer's is such a horrific disease. We
lost our mom and then lost her again when she died! It was the hardest thing.
When we knew that she only had days left, that’s when I found out that I was
pregnant with Trevor, my youngest. I was so stressed and so scared because it
took us so long to get pregnant again after having a miscarriage. I miss my mom everyday!
But we, her kids, are so close!
Phil: Were you already
close when this happened? Did it make you closer?
Theresa: It made us closer.
Phil: So, you could say THAT
was your mom’s final gift to her family.
Theresa: My sister and I are 4 years apart. We fought growing up, like sisters do! We are best friends now!
Phil: Reading that I
have to say that I’m touched. I hope you will allow me to include our
conversation here as a fitting end to my mom's Haley Memoirs on your mom, my
Aunt Helen?
Theresa: That's fine.
 |
Mid 80s
All the Haley Siblings
Uncles Mike, Bill, Jim & Joe
Aunt Helen, my mom & Aunt Winnie |
Helen Haley Kennedy, born in May of 1938 left
this earth at the age of 63 in 2001. She is missed. She is loved. May God bless
her and rest her soul.
