Friday, September 08, 2006

"The Gays"

How about another school story, since I’m in class five days a week? I major in education, so one day; hypothetically, I’m supposed to teach young minds. Yeah right. Anyway, one of my classes this semester is Guidance and Counseling. I did a little of that for real during my decades as a non-commissioned officer, so it’s not exactly an unknown subject for me. Because of my long history as a supervisor over young airmen and marines, whenever we cover another facet of helping individuals from the standpoint of counselor, I tend to associate it with my past moments, as both counselee and counselor. But the other day we discussed a premise that thankfully, I never had to deal with in the workplace – how to counsel and help homosexuals with their potential problems that might crop up due to their sexual proclivity.

Right off the bat I went into the first of several monologues about how I felt about the subject. Before we got to my little tirades, though, the teacher began the discussion on “the gays” as the text of her handout described them. The handout, an excerpt from a Filipino textbook, went into all the different variations of homosexual lifestyles and couplings. It caused me to interrupt her: 0

“Maam, I don’t get it. Why is it important for us to read about all the different gay lifestyles and relationship variables? Can I ask you something – Will we be discussing all the deviant lifestyle possibilities of heterosexuals too? Why is knowing that homosexuals have monogamous and open associations, and everything in between, really necessary for us to know about before we counsel them? If it’s to prepare these kids for the shocking realities that they might someday confront, then maybe I can go along with it; but even still, I just don’t see the necessity.”

I think she kind of agreed with me because we quickly moved on and stopped going over all the sexual “weirdness” that not just gays are capable of, and that was my point to begin with – Why get into the “bedroom” part of it at all? In fact, I went into round two of my outburst:

“Maam, can I tell you what I would try to get across to a homosexual student that was having problems concerning at least one source of heart ache, which might concern their being accepted by other students?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Okay, well, I realize there are a lot of diverse things that can happen to someone considered different than the norm; BUT, when it comes to sexual inclination I say that that part of a person’s life SHOULD be as private as possible. Look, I realize homosexuality is a hot topic and it is everywhere, but to flaunt it openly is wholly unnecessary. Within reason, dress the way you want, talk the way you want, but there’s NO reason to make people uncomfortable. Can I tell a quick story to make my point and then I’ll shut up?”

The teacher nodded her assent.

“When I was 18 years old, my first military assignment was just across the bay from San Francisco. I would visit that city all the time, usually by myself, using the subway and bus, and nearly every trip some homosexuals would go out of their way to sit near me, and when in groups, around me. They saw that I was very young and it seemed they delighted in shocking me with their “doings.” They would kiss noisily with open mouths and tangling tongues, grope each other and do sexual things that heterosexuals wouldn’t normally do in public. It was all directed at me, to put it in my face, to FORCE me to accept their ways. If that is what their intent was, actually, all they managed to do was alienate me, disgust me, and humiliate me. Before that time I knew dimly what homosexuals were, that they were people of the same sex attracted to each other. After my years around them on the streets of San Francisco and Oakland, my conception of gays became clear, and right or wrong, I “judged” them to be aggressive, unnecessarily flamboyant, and prone to making straight folks like me extremely uncomfortable. My point is that doing those things to me was counterproductive to their “cause” of promoting acceptance. It certainly didn’t make me feel respect for them; if anything, it made me feel distrust and contempt. Okay, I got that off my chest!”

From there, we got into other aspects of homosexuals, especially how they are looked at here in the Philippines, where they make themselves as obvious as any do in San Francisco. I asked one of my classmates how he would feel about a gay family member, once that person was recognized as homosexual.

His response: “We would be ashamed of him. It’s like our family would be dishonored.

I asked him: “So, do you have any gays in your family?”

He admitted: “Yeah, a nephew.”

“Do you all accept him now? Is he okay?” I continued.

“Yes, we are used to him now.”

“In other words, you guys put him through hell!” I half joked.

Thinking of it that way, it would seem to me that perhaps gays seek to be “overly obvious” over here so that they can “find” each other. Anyone who comes to the Philippines notices that gay guys flounce and primp more than the most feminine girly girls ever would. They must feel very isolated and unaccepted in their own families and it makes sense that they would seek the reassurance of each other’s company.

That class discussion got me thinking on the subject of homosexuality…I wonder how Darwinists apply their theories of selection to the “homosexual gene,” if such a thing exists? I mean, homosexuals cannot mate and therefore cannot make that part of the chromosome more and more dominant through generations of procreation. So why does the same-sex-attraction-tendency not die out? It seems that there is no shortage of new gay people; so why do they exist, and what causes them to develop or to be born?

I’m an open-minded fellow and don’t seek to judge anyone, at least not harshly, but it’s always been a mystery to me why homosexuality exists at all. What is its biological purpose? I ask this question rhetorically, because most behaviors and processes in nature have a reason, and for most species of animal, for any living thing for that matter, reproduction is an ultimate goal, if not THE ultimate goal. It seems that the only way gays can “reproduce” is if they can persuade new converts, or perhaps search out and coax out those that might be latent.

I don’t have the answers, and to tell you the truth, I don’t intend to do any research concerning the subject – I’m just asking the questions. As far as I’m concerned, it will probably be one of those forever unanswered mysteries, like the origin of time and matter – it just is.


Amadeo said...

Recently, I was an emcee for a gathering of FilAms from our old city in Northern Mindanao. Most of the guests I knew, except for a few. Except especially for two fair, tall, slim, and good-looking women, dressed elegantly.

Of course, I was curious to find out who they were. Turned out they were cross-dresser gays working for Macy's.

But in retrospect, I would much prefer those over the more vulgar displays very typical, for example, during the San Francisco Gay Pride parade.

As I recall, the gay community here was up in arms when suggestions were made that this orientation may be caused by aberrant predisposition in one of the genes. Or was it of abnormalities in the brain, with regard to size? Can't recall exactly.

Nick Ballesteros said...

I think I also read something about a physical difference in gays, particularly a smaller region in the brain. This study now escapes me, as like you, I really do not intend to delve much into it.

There are scientific-based approaches to studying this behavior, all leading to believe that it may not be entirely psychological. There may be physical/anatomical factors involved.

While there is growing acceptance in the Philippines, there is still discrimination in many areas. Because - as one of your classmates said (and this reflects the general thought process) - homosexuality brings shame to the family. But underneath this is growing acceptance.

PhilippinesPhil said...

Hey Amadeo, as I said, the whole schmear, the gay, cross-dressing, transgender scene doesn't bother me in the least as long as its not force-fed to me. What I really hate is the obvious stuff paraded around in front of my children in public. Knowing what's there, I would NEVER bring small kids to San Francisco. There are just too many of them who are not willing to keep it inside and out of sight where it belongs.

Cross dressers are okay as long as they do it in good taste. I see them around here in the evenings at clubs and such and many times my wife has to point them out to me. Most of them don't try to be obvious and that's cool.

As for the predisposition based on genetics, I find it hard to believe as well. After eons of breeding, THAT is how a characteristic become dominant and gets passed down to new generations.. Obviously, homosexuals CANNOT procreate... So, there is something else in humans that brings it about.

PhilippinesPhil said...

Hey Wat, human behvior is complex to say the least, especially when you start talking about the possible "variances." It seems to me that sexuality evolves mostly from what we are exposed to as children up through our adolescence.

Personally, I knew I was very attracted to girls by the time I was 7 or 8. We know this is true about our basic sexual preferences, because there are some cultures out there that hold up as "sexy" all kinds of physical characteristics (and genders) that you and I would look at as anything but attractive. For instance, males in a tribe in Africa won't even look at a woman under 250 pounds!

No one is born knowing what is sexy; we are taught... I'm convinced our "hetero or homo sexuality" is imprinted very early in our development, whether it is a physical act that starts it, or a series of them, or perhaps some hormone that is released into our systems in our early youth, whatever it is, I think it all combines to effect what "turns us on." And basically, that's what this whole thing is all about, isn't it?

Nick Ballesteros said...

Phil, you got me doing a simple research about this topic :-)

This subject is summarily tackled in Wikipedia. On the genetics part, it says:
"The advent of modern genetic science has seen revived interest in the argument of nature versus nurture as a cause of sexual orientation as well as advances in the treatment of AIDS and other diseases. The precise ramifications of this and modern biotechnology are not yet apparent.

However some scientific studies have pointed to findings that gay mens' brain anatomy is similar to heterosexual women and different from their heterosexual male counterparts. (This does not necessarily form a link between genetics and homosexuality, but merely correlates behavior with differences in the structure of the brain. The differences in the brains of homosexual males as compaired with heterosexual males may be driven by genetics, environment, or both.) Other findings include that fingerprints of gay men match closely with those of heterosexual women, and fingerprints are formed 16 weeks after conception within the womb which could point to homosexuality being determined by genetic factors. In identical twins, researchers have also found that if one self-identifies as a gay man or lesbian the chance of the other being gay is greatly increased at 50%. Scientific inquiry into the reasons for homosexuality is still an emerging field of study, and more current research is constantly changing the way science views homosexuality."

This was what I was trying to explain concerning the "origins" of homosexuality. It might not be limited to social interaction and environment during the human development stage. It might have a physiological connection as well.

Wierd, to think of it. It's like you have been destined to become one since inception...

Nick Ballesteros said...

Since we're on the topic of schooling, I'd be interested to know what sort of books you like reading. So I tagged you!

E. S. de Montemayor said...

hi phil,

i think (no offense) that it's just arrogant for humans to think that there's no normal variation among its specie. so far, studies show no evidence of an aberrant gene or what. it's more about child rearing and social structures since babies are born "tabula rasa" or with clean slate. I don't think someone is born gay.